Probably, every person wants to always be calm and balanced, and experience only pleasant excitement, but not everyone succeeds. To be honest, only a few people know how to feel this way, while the rest live like “on a swing”: first they rejoice, and then they get upset and worry - unfortunately, people experience the second state much more often.

What is mental balance, and how to learn to be in it all the time, if it doesn’t work out in any way?

What does mental balance mean?

Many people think that peace of mind is a utopia. Is it normal when a person does not experience negative emotions, does not worry about anything and does not worry? Probably, this happens only in a fairy tale, where everyone lives happily ever after. In fact, people forgot that the state peace of mind, harmony and happiness is completely normal, and life is beautiful in various manifestations, and not only when everything turns out “our way”.

As a result, in case of violations or complete absence of emotional health, physical health is seriously affected: not only nervous disorders occur - serious diseases develop. If you lose for a long time peace of mind, you can "earn" peptic ulcer, skin problems, diseases of the heart and blood vessels, and even oncology.

In order to learn to live without negative emotions, you need to understand and realize your goals and desires, without replacing them with anyone's opinions and judgments. People who know how to do this live in harmony with both the mind and the soul: their thoughts do not disagree with words, and words do not disagree with actions. Such people also understand those around them, and they know how to correctly perceive any situation, therefore they are usually respected by everyone - both at work and at home.

How to find and restore peace of mind

So can it be learned? You can learn everything if you have a desire, but many people, complaining about fate and circumstances, actually do not want to change anything in life: having got used to the negative, they find in it the only entertainment and a way to communicate - it is no secret that it is negative news that is discussed in many teams with great heat.

If you really want to find peace of mind and perceive the world with joy and inspiration, try to consider and use the methods that are described below.

• Stop reacting to situations in the "usual" way, and start asking yourself: How am I creating this situation? That's right: we create any situations that "form" in our life ourselves, and then we cannot understand what is happening - we need to learn to see the cause-and-effect relationship. Most often, our thoughts work on the negative course of events - after all, the worst expectations are more habitual than the expectation of something good and positive.

• Look for opportunities in any trouble, and try to respond "inappropriately." For example, if your boss “broke off” at you, don’t be upset, but rejoice - at least smile and thank him (for a start, you can mentally) for reflecting your internal problems like a mirror.
• By the way, gratitude The best way protect yourself from negativity and return peace of mind. Develop a good habit every evening to thank the Universe (God, Life) for the good things that happened to you during the day. If it seems to you that there was nothing good, remember the simple values ​​\u200b\u200bthat you have - love, family, parents, children, friendship: do not forget that not every person has all this.
• Constantly remind yourself that you are not in past or future problems, but in the present - "here and now." Every person at any moment of time has everything necessary to be free and happy, and this state continues as long as we do not allow past grievances or worst expectations to take possession of our consciousness. Look for the good in every moment of the present and the future will be even better.

• You should not be offended at all - it is harmful and dangerous: many practicing psychologists note that patients who carry grievances for a long time develop the most serious diseases. Including oncology. It is clear that about peace of mind there is no talk here.
• Sincere laughter helps to forgive insults: if you can’t find something funny in the current situation, cheer yourself up. You can watch a funny movie or a fun concert, turn on fun music, dance or chat with friends. Of course, you should not discuss your grievances with them: it is better to look at yourself from the outside, and laugh at the problems together.
• If you feel like you can't handle "dirty" thoughts, learn to replace them: use short positive affirmations, meditation, or small prayers - for example, try replacing a negative thought with a wish for good to the whole world. This method is very important: after all, at one moment in time we can keep only one thought in our head, and we ourselves choose “what thoughts to think.”

• Learn to track your condition - be aware of what is happening to you “here and now”, and soberly evaluate your emotions: if you get angry or offended, try to stop interacting with others, at least for a short time.
• Try to help other people as soon as possible - it brings joy and peace. Only help those who really need it, and not those who want to make you a “hanger” for their problems and grievances.

• A great way to help restore peace of mind is regular physical exercise. fitness and walks: the brain is saturated with oxygen, and the level of “happy hormones” rises. If something oppresses you, you are anxious and worried, go to a fitness club or gym; if this is not possible, just run or take a walk in the park or at the stadium - wherever you can. Mental balance is hardly possible without physical health, and a person who does not know how to achieve balance cannot become completely healthy - he will always have disorders and diseases.

"Cheerful" posture - the path to peace of mind

Psychologists note that people who monitor their posture are much less prone to stress and anxiety. There is nothing complicated here: try to hunch over, lower your shoulders, head, and breathe heavily - in just a few minutes, life will seem difficult to you, and those around you will begin to annoy you. And, on the contrary, if you straighten your back, raise your head, smile and breathe evenly and calmly, your mood will immediately improve - you can check. Therefore, when you work while sitting, do not stoop or “squint” in a chair, keep your elbows on the table, and

IN modern world It's hard to be mentally balanced. Every day a lot of problems, questions, obligations fall on a person, which just makes the head spin. How to find peace of mind and peace of mind?

Unfortunately, few people can calmly react when they are shouted at, humiliated, rude, when money is lost or a loved one leaves. All people face problems, and only in rare moments can you feel the joy of your life. But happiness, as they say, lives inside each individual. And not everyone can protect themselves from problems and insure their lives like a car. This means that you yourself need to become spiritually happy in order to feel the joy of being.

But how can you feel happiness when you are surrounded by numerous problems? No way. And here it is necessary to be a mentally balanced person in order to calmly relate to any troubles in life and keep joy inside oneself.

How to find peace of mind?

Need to stop playing and pretending

It is difficult for a person to be spiritually relaxed and happy just because he himself begins to be insincere, a pretender, a deceiver. Most people deceive even themselves, which becomes clear only when a person realizes that he wanted something completely different, and not what he received. People play some roles: leaving the house, each of you is no longer what he is when he is left alone with himself. You try to smile when you want to cry, maintain a good-natured relationship with colleagues when in fact they annoy you. All these games and pretense simply take away mental strength and unbalance.

You need to do something not because others want it,
but because you yourself wished it

Mental balance is lost when a person begins to live and act at the behest of other people. He no longer listens to himself, he listens to what other people tell him. And how can you be calm and balanced in such a situation, even if sometimes you don’t understand why you should do what you don’t want to do? You are used to living in accordance with the desires of the people around you, but you forgot about your own. How, then, can you talk about peace of mind if you do not even listen and do not turn to yourself?

You need to know and love yourself

You need to communicate with yourself alone more often, understand the motives of your desires and actions. Then such knowledge will lead you to self-confidence, stability. And this will not be due to whether you have large sums of money and a luxurious house, but to the fact that you understand yourself. You know what drives you, what you really want, and you love and accept everything that is connected with you. You do not condemn yourself, do not criticize, but calmly treat even what could previously cause hostility. Because this is you, which is, which has its own advantages and disadvantages.

From self-acceptance begins to develop peace of mind. You no longer judge yourself, but simply accept with those negative and positive qualities that you have. Each person has their own shortcomings, but you have the right to learn from yours. negative qualities treat positively.

How to get rid of negative emotions, restore peace of mind and health? These helpful tips will help you!

Why are more and more people seeking to find peace of mind?

In our time, people live very restlessly, which is due to various negative realities of a political, economic and social nature. Added to this is a powerful stream negative information, which falls upon people from television screens, from Internet news sites and newspaper pages.

Modern medicine is often unable to relieve stress. She is not able to cope with mental and physical disorders, various diseases that are caused by mental imbalance due to negative emotions, anxiety, anxiety, fear, despair, etc.

These emotions are destructive to human body at the cellular level, deplete its vitality, lead to premature aging.

Insomnia and loss of strength, hypertension and diabetes, heart and stomach diseases, oncological diseases - this is not a complete list of those serious ailments, the main cause of which can be stressful conditions of the body resulting from such harmful emotions.

Plato once said: “The biggest mistake of doctors is that they try to cure a person's body without trying to cure his soul; however, soul and body are one and cannot be treated separately!”

Centuries have passed, even millennia, but this saying of the great philosopher of antiquity remains true today. In modern living conditions, the problem of psychological support for people, protecting their psyche from negative emotions has become extremely relevant.

1. Healthy sleep!

First of all, it is important to have a healthy, sound sleep, because it has a powerful sedative effect on a person. A person spends about a third of his life in a dream, i.e. in a state where the body restores its vitality.

Good sleep is extremely important for health. During sleep, the brain diagnoses all the functional systems of the body and launches the mechanisms of their self-healing. As a result, the nervous and immune system, metabolism, blood pressure, blood sugar, etc. are normalized.

Sleep speeds up the healing of wounds and burns. People with good sleep are less likely to suffer from chronic diseases.

Sleep provides many other positive effects, and most importantly, the human body is updated during sleep, which means that the aging process slows down and even reverses.

In order for sleep to be complete, the day should be active, but not tiring, and dinner should be early and light. After it, it is advisable to take a walk in the fresh air. The brain needs to be given a couple of hours of rest before going to bed. Avoid watching TV programs in the evening that load the brain and excite the nervous system.

It is also undesirable to try to solve any serious problems at this time. It is better to engage in light reading or a calm conversation.

Ventilate your bedroom before going to bed, and leave the windows open during the warmer months. Try to get a good orthopedic mattress for sleeping. Nightwear should be light and well-fitted.

Your last thoughts before falling asleep should be gratitude for the past day and hope for a good future.

If you wake up in the morning, you feel a surge of vivacity and energy, then your sleep was strong, healthy, refreshing and rejuvenating.

2. Rest from everything!

We are accustomed to perform daily hygienic, health-improving procedures related to taking care of the physical health of our body. This is a shower or bath, brushing your teeth, morning exercises.

Just as regularly, it is desirable to perform certain psychological procedures that cause a calm, peaceful state, contributing to mental health. Here is one such procedure.

Every day, in the midst of a busy day, you should put aside all your affairs for ten to fifteen minutes and be in silence. Sit in a secluded place and think of something that completely distracts you from daily worries and introduces you into a state of serenity and peace.

These can be, for example, pictures of beautiful, majestic nature presented in the mind: the contours of mountain peaks, as if drawn against the background. blue sky, the silvery light of the moon reflected by the sea surface, a green forest glade surrounded by slender trees, etc.

Another soothing procedure is the immersion of the mind in silence.

Sit or lie down in a quiet, private place for ten to fifteen minutes and relax your muscles. Then focus your attention on a specific object in your field of vision. Watch him, look into him. Soon you will want to close your eyes, your eyelids will become heavy and droop.

Start listening to your breath. Thus, you will be distracted from extraneous sounds. Feel the pleasure of immersing yourself in silence and a state of serenity. Calmly watch how your mind falls silent, separate thoughts float away somewhere.

The ability to turn off thoughts does not come immediately, but the benefits of this process are enormous, because as a result you achieve the highest degree of peace of mind, and a rested brain significantly increases its efficiency.

3. Daytime sleep!

For health purposes and to relieve stress, it is recommended to include in the daily routine the so-called siesta, which is widely practiced mainly in Spanish-speaking countries. This is an afternoon nap, the duration of which usually does not exceed 30 minutes.

Such a dream restores the energy costs of the first half of the day, relieves fatigue, helps a person become calm and rested and return to vigorous activity with fresh strength.

Psychologically, a siesta, as it were, gives a person two days in one, and this creates spiritual comfort.

4. Positive thoughts!

Soaps are born first, and only then action. Therefore, it is so important to direct thoughts in the right direction. In the morning, recharge yourself with positive energy, positively set yourself up for the coming day, saying mentally or aloud approximately the following statements:

“Today I will be calm and businesslike, friendly and affable. I will be able to successfully complete everything that I have planned, I will cope with all unforeseen problems that arise. No one and nothing will take me out of a state of peace of mind.

5. Calm state of mind!

It is also useful during the day for the purpose of self-hypnosis to periodically repeat the key words: “calm”, “serenity”. They have a calming effect.

If, nevertheless, any disturbing thought appears in your mind, try to immediately displace it with an optimistic message to yourself, setting you up that everything will be fine.

Try to break through any dark cloud of fear, anxiety, anxiety hanging over your consciousness with light rays of joy and completely dispel it with the power of positive thinking.

Call on your sense of humor as well. It is important to set yourself up so as not to worry about trifles. Well, what to do if you have not a trifle, but a really serious problem?

Usually a person reacts to the threats of the surrounding world, worries about the fate of his family, children and grandchildren, fears various life hardships, such as war, illness, loss of loved ones, loss of love, business failure, job failure, unemployment, poverty, etc. P.

But if this happens, then you need to show self-control, prudence, displace anxiety from consciousness, which does not help in anything. It does not provide answers to questions that arise in life, but only leads to confusion in thoughts, useless waste of vitality and undermining health.

A calm state of mind allows you to objectively analyze emerging life situations, make optimal decisions and, thereby, resist adversity, overcome difficulties.

So in all situations, let your conscious choice always be calm.

All fears and anxieties belong to the future tense. They pump stressful condition. So, to relieve stress, you need these thoughts to dissipate, to disappear from your consciousness. Try to change your attitude so that you live in the present tense.

6. Own rhythm of life!

Concentrate your thoughts on the present moment, live "here and now", be grateful for every well-lived day. Set yourself up to take life lightly, like you have nothing to lose.

When you are busy with work, you are distracted from restless thoughts. But you should develop a natural, and therefore appropriate pace of work for your temperament.

Yes, and your whole life should go at a natural pace. Try to get rid of the haste and fuss. Do not strain your strength excessively, do not spend too much vital energy in order to quickly do all the work and solve the problems that arise. Work should be done easily, naturally, and for this it is important to apply rational methods of its organization.

7. Proper organization of working hours!

If, for example, the work is of an office nature, then leave only those papers on the table that are relevant to the task being solved at the time. Determine the priority order of the tasks before you and strictly follow this order when solving them.

Take on just one task at once and try to thoroughly deal with it. If you have received enough information to make a decision, then do not hesitate to make it. Psychologists have found that fatigue contributes to feelings of anxiety. So organize your work in such a way that you can start resting before fatigue sets in.

With a rational organization of work, you will be surprised at how easily you cope with your duties, solve the tasks.

It is known that if the work is creative, interesting, exciting, then the brain practically does not get tired, and the body gets tired much less. Fatigue is caused mainly by emotional factors - monotony and monotony, haste, tension, anxiety. Therefore, it is so important that the work arouses interest and a sense of satisfaction. Those who are absorbed in what they love are serene and happy.

8. Self-confidence!

Develop self-confidence in your own abilities, in the ability to successfully cope with all matters, solve the problems that arise in front of you. Well, if you don’t have time to do something, or some problem is not solved, then you should not needlessly worry and get upset.

Consider that you have done everything in your power, and accept the inevitable. It is known that a person quite easily puts up with undesirable for him life situations, if he understands that they are inevitable, and then forgets about them.

Memory is a wonderful ability of the human mind. It allows a person to accumulate knowledge that is so necessary for him in life. But not all information should be memorized. Learn the art of selectively remembering the mostly good things that happened to you in life and forgetting the bad ones.

Fix your life successes in your memory, remember them more often.

This will help you maintain an optimistic mindset that drives out worry. If you are determined to develop a mindset that will bring you peace and happiness, then follow a life philosophy of joy. According to the law of attraction, joyful thoughts attract joyful events in life.

Respond with all your heart to any, even the smallest joy. The more even small joys in your life, the less anxiety, more health, vitality.

After all, positive emotions are healing. Moreover, they heal not only the soul, but also the human body, since they displace negative energy that is toxic to the body and maintain homeostasis¹.

Strive to achieve peace of mind and harmony in your home, creating a peaceful, friendly atmosphere in it, communicate with children more often. Play with them, observe their behavior and learn from them a direct perception of life.

At least for a short time, immerse yourself in such an amazing, beautiful, serene world of childhood, where there is a lot of light, joy and love. Pets can have a beneficial effect on the atmosphere.

Helps to maintain peace of mind, relax after a busy day, as well as calm, quiet, melodious music and singing. In general, try to make your home an abode of peace, tranquility and love.

Distracting from your problems, show more interest in others. In your communication, conversations with relatives, friends and acquaintances, let there be as few negative topics as possible, but more positive, jokes and laughter.

Try to do good deeds that evoke a joyful, grateful response in someone's souls. Then your heart will be calm and good. By doing good to others, you are helping yourself. So fill your souls with kindness and love. Live calmly, in harmony with yourself and the world around you.

Oleg Goroshin

Notes and feature articles for a deeper understanding of the material

¹ Homeostasis - self-regulation, the ability of an open system to maintain the constancy of its internal state through coordinated reactions aimed at maintaining dynamic balance (

Search for balance

Developing a flexible approach to life is not only a way to face challenges, but a cornerstone happy life - equilibrium.

Sitting comfortably in his chair one morning, the Dalai Lama explained the value of balance:

A balanced and reasonable approach, avoiding extremes - these things are very important in all aspects of our life. So, having planted a tree, you must look after it very skillfully and carefully. Too much moisture will kill it, too much light will kill it, too little too. Therefore, a tree needs a very balanced environment for normal growth. If you take physical health man, extremes harm him too. A lot of protein is bad, a little is also bad.

A careful and skillful approach is also necessary in spiritual and emotional development. So, if we find that we become arrogant, feel our superiority on the basis of certain true or imaginary achievements and qualities, reflection on problems and suffering, the imperfection of being, can be used as an antidote. This will help you get down from heaven to earth. And vice versa - if you find that thinking about the imperfection of being, suffering, pain, etc., oppresses you, and you begin to feel despair and think: "Oh, I can't do anything. I'm helpless," then you should raise your spirit by thinking about their achievements and positive qualities. So it is very important to feel the balance here.

Balance is useful not only in terms of physical and emotional health, but also in spiritual development. In Buddhism, for example, there are a huge variety of techniques and practices, and it is very important not to go to extremes. A holistic approach that combines training and practice is needed. Otherwise, there may be an imbalance between knowledge and practical application. Over-intellectualization can kill contemplative practices. Overemphasis on practice can kill understanding. So balance is essential...

In other words, practice dharma, a true spiritual practice, in some way acts as a voltage stabilizer that smooths out voltage spikes, making it constant and stable.

You talk about the importance of avoiding extremes,” I put in, “but don’t extremes give us the most pleasure in life, give it flavor? Wouldn't life be dull and boring without them?

He shook his head.

It seems to me that you do not quite understand the source or basis of the pursuit of extremes. Take, for example, material goods - apartments, furniture, clothes, etc. On the one hand, poverty can be considered extreme, and we have every right to overcome it and provide ourselves with physical comfort. On the other hand, luxury and wealth are also extreme. The goal of a person who strives for wealth is a sense of satisfaction, happiness. But the basis of striving for something more - feeling of insufficiency, dissatisfaction with what you have. This dissatisfaction, the desire for more, is not due to the qualities of the objects we desire, but to our mental state.

Therefore, I believe that the love of extremes is often based on a deep sense of dissatisfaction. But there are, of course, other factors as well. It is important to understand that although these extremes are superficially attractive and exciting, they do more harm than pleasure. And there are many examples of this. After analyzing these situations, you will see that in the end suffering awaits you. So, if the entire population of the planet suddenly became interested in fishing, not thinking about responsibility or consequences, in the end all the fish would disappear ... Or take sex. Of course, sex drive is natural and sex is satisfying. But even here, if you irresponsibly go to extremes, serious trouble awaits you ...

You said that besides dissatisfaction, there are other reasons that push people to extremes...

Yes, of course, he nodded.

Can you provide an example?

Narrowness of views, ignorance. - In what sense?

The example of fishing is an example of narrowness of thinking, the inability to assess the consequences of one's actions. This can be avoided with knowledge and education.

The Dalai Lama, thinking, took a rosary from the table and began to sort through it. Looking at them, he suddenly continued:

It seems to me that the narrowness of views just very often leads to extremes in thinking. And this creates problems. Tibet, for example, has practiced Buddhism for many centuries. Naturally, as a result, the Tibetans had a feeling that Buddhism is the best religion and it would be good if it was practiced All humanity. This idea is extreme and leads to problems. But now that we have left Tibet, we have the opportunity to study other religions. As a result, we came closer to reality and realized that humanity is very diverse, and even if we tried to spread Buddhism, we would not succeed. Close contact with other traditions allows us to find useful aspects in them. Now Tibetans have a different attitude towards other religions. If a person decides that another religion suits him better, great! It's like going to a restaurant - everyone can sit at the same table, but everyone orders dishes according to their taste. Everyone eats different foods, but no one argues!

Therefore, I think that the conscious expansion of views allows us to overcome extremes in thinking that are fraught with problems.

With that, the Dalai Lama wrapped the rosary around his wrist, patted my arm in a friendly way, and stood up to signal that the meeting was over.