Word etiquette   French by origin (etiquette); initially it denoted a commodity tag, a label, and then they began to call it the court ceremonial. It is in this meaning, especially after the adoption of the French ceremonial at the Vienna court, that the word etiquette  gained distribution in German, Polish, Russian and other languages. Along with this word, the word is used to denote the totality of the adopted rules that determine the order of any activity. regulation  and the phrase diplomatic protocol.

It is becoming more widespread in business circles, especially recently, business Etiquette reflecting the experience, moral ideas and tastes of certain social groups. Business etiquette requires compliance with communication standards. Since communication is a person’s activity, the process in which he participates, when communicating, the characteristics of speech etiquette are primarily taken into account.

Under speech etiquette   the developed rules of speech behavior, the system of speech communication formulas are understood. The degree of proficiency in speech etiquette determines the degree of professional suitability of a person. This primarily applies to government officials, politicians, engineers, educators, lawyers, doctors, managers, entrepreneurs, journalists, service workers, i.e. to those who, through their activities, constantly communicate with people. Possession of speech etiquette contributes to the acquisition of etiquette, generates trust and respect.

Speech etiquette has national specifics . Each nation has created its own system of rules of speech behavior. For example, V. Ovchinnikov in his book “Sakura Branch” describes the peculiarity of Japanese etiquette in such a way: “In conversations people in every possible way avoid the words“ no ”,“ I can’t ”,“ I don’t know ”, as if they were some kind of swearing, something you can’t say it bluntly, but only allegorically, bluntly. Even refusing a second cup of tea, the guest instead of “no, thank you” uses an expression that literally means “I’m already fine.” If a Tokyo acquaintance says: “Before answering your offer, I have to consult with my wife ", then do not think, h about you an advocate of female equality. This is just one way of not saying the word “no." For example, you call a Japanese and say you would like to meet with him at six in the press club if he starts asking again: Ah, at six? Ah, at the press club? "And utter some meaningless sounds, you should immediately say:" However, if this is not convenient for you, you can talk at another time and in another place. ”And now here the interlocutor instead of “no” with great joy will say “yes” and grab onto the very first sentence that he fits. "

I. Ehrenburg testifies to some features of the speech of the French and the French language: "In speeches, speakers love to flaunt turns taken from the authors of the 18th century, and the broker ends the letter concerning his next exchange transaction, like his grandfather, with the obligatory formula:" Thank you, gracious sovereign , to accept the assurances of my deepest respect to you. "... The French love concreteness, accuracy, clarity. The language testifies to this best of all ... You can’t say in French“ she smiled back ”or“ he waved his hand ”: need to explain how she she grinned — angrily, sadly, mockingly, or perhaps good-naturedly; why did he wave his hand — from frustration, chagrin, and indifference? The French language was long called diplomatic, and its use probably complicated the work of diplomats: it’s difficult to mask the idea in French It's hard to talk without negotiating. " (I. Ehrenburg. India. Japan. Greece).

The difference between the speech etiquette of different peoples in the reference books under the general name "Speech etiquette" is examined in particular detail. For example, in the reference book Russian-English Correspondence, compiled by N. I. Formanovskaya and S. V. Shvedova (M., 1990), this is how the originality of the English language in the use of forms of treatment is explained - youand   you: "In English, unlike Russian, there is no formal distinction between forms youand   you. The whole range of meanings of these forms is contained in the pronoun you. Pronoun thou, which in theory would correspond to Russian you, went out of use in the XVII century, preserved only in poetry and the Bible. All contact registers, from underlined official to crudely familiar, are transmitted by other means of the language - intonation, the choice of appropriate words and constructions. The peculiarity of the Russian language is precisely the presence in it of two pronouns youand   youwhich can be perceived as singular forms of the second person. The choice of one form or another depends on the social status of the interlocutors, the nature of their relationship, and the official-unofficial situation. "

Communication begins with dating . Moreover, it can occur directly and indirectly. According to the rules of good form, it is not customary to enter into a conversation with a stranger and to introduce oneself. However, there are times when this needs to be done. Etiquette prescribes the following formulas: - Allow (those) to meet you (with you). - I would like to meet you (with you). - Let (them) get to know you (with you). - Let (them) get to know each other. - Let's get acquainted. - We will be familiar. - It would be nice to meet you.

When visiting an institution, office, office, when there is a conversation with an official and you need to introduce yourself, the formulas are used: - Allow (allow) yourself to introduce yourself. - My last name is Kolesnikov. - I'm Pavlov. - My name is Yuri Vladimirovich. - Nikolay Kolesnikov. - Anastasia Igorevna.  If the visitor does not call himself, then the official asks himself: - What is your (your) last name? - What is your (your) name, patronymic? - What is your (your) name? - What is your name?

Often when acquaintances use business cards. A business card is served during the presentation. The person to whom they introduce themselves should take it and read it out loud, and then during the conversation, if it happens in the office, keep a business card on the table in front of itself in order to correctly call the interlocutor.

Etiquette determines the norm of behavior. It is customary to introduce a man to a woman, the younger in age to the older, the employee to the boss.

Formal and informal meetings of acquaintances, and sometimes strangers, begin with greetings . In Russian, the main greeting is hello. It goes back to the Old Slavonic verb hello, which means "to be healthy", i.e. healthy. Verb hello in ancient times, it was also important to “greet” (cf .: hello). Therefore, the basis of this greeting is a wish for health. First greeting hellofound in “Letters and Papers of Peter the Great 1688–1701”. Along with this form, a greeting is distributed indicating the time of the meeting: - Good morning! - Good afternoon! - Good evening!In addition to common greetings, there are greetings that emphasize the joy of meeting, respectful attitude, desire to communicate: - (Very) glad to see you (welcome)! - Allow (allow) you to welcome. - Welcome! - My regards.

The greeting is often accompanied by a handshake, which can even replace a verbally expressed greeting. However, one should know: if a man and a woman meet, then the man must wait until the woman reaches out to shake, otherwise he only makes a slight bow. The non-verbal equivalent of greeting, when they meet are distant from each other, is a bow to the head; for men - a hat slightly raised above his head.

Greeting speech etiquette also provides for the nature of behavior, i.e. sequence of greetings. The first to be greeted is a man - a woman; - the youngest (youngest) by age - the older (older); - the youngest woman - a man who is much older than her; - junior in position - senior; - Member of the delegation - its head (independently - its own delegation or foreign).

The initial communication formulas are opposed by the formulas used at the end of the communication. These are formulas separation, termination of communication . They express - a wish: All the best to you (good)! Goodbye! -  hope for a new meeting: Until the evening (tomorrow, Saturday). I hope we part for a while. I hope to see you soon; - doubt about the opportunity to meet again; parting will be for a long time: Farewell! It is unlikely to be able to meet again. Do not remember dashingly.

After the greeting, usually tied business conversation. Speech etiquette provides for several reasons that are determined by the situation.

Three situations are most typical: 1) solemn; 2) mournful; 3) working, business. The first includes public holidays, anniversaries of the enterprise and employees; receiving awards; opening office, shop; presentation; conclusion of a contract, contract, etc. For any solemn occasion, a significant event, invitations and congratulations follow. Depending on the situation (official, semi-official, unofficial), invitation and congratulatory cliches vary.

Invitation: - Allow (allow) to invite you ... - Come to a holiday (anniversary, meeting ...), we will be glad (to meet you). - I invite you (you) ...  If it is necessary to express insecurity about the appropriateness of the invitation, or insecurity about the acceptance by the addressee of the invitation, then it is expressed by a question sentence: - I can (can, can not, can, can, can) invite you ...

Congratulation: - Allow (allow) me to congratulate you on ... - Accept my (most) sincere (warm, warm, sincere) congratulations ... - On behalf of (on behalf of) ... congratulations ... - From (the whole) soul ( whole heart) congratulations ... - I warmly (warmly) congratulate ...

The mournful situation is associated with death, death, natural disaster and other events that bring misfortune, grief. In this case, condolences are expressed. It should not be dry, breech. Formulas condolences , as a rule, stylistically elevated, emotionally colored: - Allow (allow) me to express (to you) my deep (sincere) condolences. - I bring (to you) my (accept mine, please accept mine) deep (sincere) condolences. - I sincerely (deeply, cordially, from the bottom of my heart) condolences to you. “I grieve with you.” - I share (understand) your sadness (your grief, misfortune).  The most emotional expressions are: - What (great, irreparable, terrible) grief (misfortune) has befallen you! - What a big (irreplaceable, terrible) loss befell you! - What grief (misfortune) has befallen you.

In a tragic, mournful or unpleasant situation, people need sympathy, comfort. Etiquette formulas of sympathy, comfort are designed for different occasions and have different purposes. Comfort expresses empathy: - (How) I sympathize with you! - (How) I understand you!  Consolation is accompanied by the assurance of a successful outcome: - I sympathize with you (that), but believe me (but I'm so sure) that everything will end well! - Do not fall into despair (do not lose heart). Everything (else) will change (for the better). - Everything will be OK! - All this will change (cost, pass)!  Consolation is accompanied by advice: - No need (it is necessary) (so) to worry (worry, upset, upset, worry, suffer). - You must not lose your temper (head, endurance). - It is necessary (necessary) to calm down (to control oneself, to control oneself). - You should hope for the best (throw it out of your head).

The listed reasons (invitation, congratulations, condolences, consolation, expression of sympathy) do not always go into business communication, sometimes the conversation ends with them.

In everyday business environment (business, work situation), speech etiquette formulas are also used.

Thanks: - Allow (allow) to express (big, huge) thanks to Nikolai Petrovich Bystrov for the excellent (excellently) organized exhibition. - The company (directorate, administration) expresses gratitude to all employees (teaching staff) for ... - I must thank the head of the supply department (my) gratitude for ... - Allow (allow) to express great (huge) gratitude ... For rendering what Any services, for help, an important message, a gift is accepted to be thanked with the words: - I am grateful to you for ... - (Big, huge) thank you (you) for ... - (I) am very (so) grateful you!  The emotionality, expressiveness of expressing gratitude is enhanced, if we say: - There are no words to express you (my) gratitude! “I am so grateful to you that it is difficult for me to find words!” “You cannot imagine how grateful I am to you!” - My gratitude has no (knows) no boundaries!

Note, warning: - The company (directorate, board, editorial board) is forced to make a (serious) warning (comment) ... - To (much) regret (chagrin), I must (have to) make a remark (make a censure) ...

Often people, especially those endowed with power, consider it necessary to express their proposals, advice in a categorical form: - All (you) are obliged (must) ... - You should certainly do so ... - Strongly (persistently) advise (suggest) to do ...  Advice, suggestions expressed in this form are similar to an order or instruction and do not always give rise to a desire to follow it, especially if the conversation takes place between colleagues of the same rank.

Motivation for action by advice, suggestion can be expressed in a delicate, polite or neutral form: - Allow (allow) me to give you advice (to advise you) ... - Allow me to offer you ... - (I) want (I would like, I want) to advise (suggest) you ... - I would advise (I would suggest ) to you ... - I advise (suggest) to you ...

Handling request   should be delicate, extremely polite, but without unnecessarily fawning: - Do me a favor, fulfill (my) request ... - If it’s not difficult for you (it won’t make it difficult for you) ... - Do not consider it as work, please take it ... - (Not) can I ask you ... - (Please), (I beg you) allow me ...  The request can be expressed with a certain categorization: - I strongly (convincingly, very much) ask you (you) ...

Consent, Permission  formulated as follows: - (Now, immediately) will be done (completed). - Please (allow, do not mind). “I agree to let you go.” - I agree, do (do) what you think.

At rejection   expressions are used: - (I) can not (not able, not able) to help (allow, provide assistance). - (I) can not (not able, not able) to fulfill your request. - At present, it is (to be) impossible. - Understand, now is not the time to ask (to make such a request). - Sorry, but we (I) cannot (I can) fulfill your request. - I have to ban (refuse, not allow).

Among business people of any rank, it is customary to resolve issues of particular importance to them in a semi-official setting. For this, hunting, fishing, going out into the countryside are arranged, followed by an invitation to the country house, restaurant, sauna. In accordance with the situation, speech etiquette is also changing, it is becoming less official, acquiring a relaxed, emotionally expressive character. But even in such an environment, subordination is observed, the familiar tone of expressions, and speech “licentiousness” are not allowed.

An important component of speech etiquette is compliment . Tactfully and promptly said, he raises the mood of the addressee, sets him up for a positive attitude towards the opponent. A compliment is said at the beginning of a conversation, at a meeting, acquaintance or during a conversation, at parting. The compliment is always pleasant. Only a sincere compliment, a compliment for the sake of a compliment, an overly enthusiastic compliment is dangerous. The compliment refers to the appearance, testifies to the excellent professional abilities of the addressee, his high morality, gives a general positive assessment: - You look good (excellent, excellent, excellent, magnificent, young). - You do not change (have not changed, do not age). - Time spares you (does not take). - You are (so, very) charming (smart, quick-witted, quick-witted, reasonable, practical). - You are a good (excellent, excellent, excellent) specialist (economist, manager, entrepreneur, companion). - You are good (excellent, excellent, excellent) conduct (your) economy (business, trade, construction). - You know how to well (perfectly) manage (manage) people, organize them. - It's nice (good, excellent) to deal with you (work, collaborate).

Similar information.

Speech etiquette

- the totality of the rules of speech behavior adopted by society in the relevant areas and situations of communication. Speech behavior is governed by social hierarchy, national culture and etiquette, ritual, well-bred linguistic personality, constant practice, controlled by consciousness.

In social contacts, etiquette formulas are used to maintain communication in the right tonality - multilevel language units (full-word forms, words of non-significant parts of speech - (particles, interjections), phrases and whole phrases adopted in certain situations in different social groups. Social symbolism of etiquette formulas stressed the French stylist S. Ballie. He wrote: "The situation is as if speech phenomena absorb the smell inherent in the environment and the circumstances in which they usually used ... Thus, they manage to symbolize, arouse in consciousness the idea of \u200b\u200bthis group (people - author) with her lifestyle or forms of activity. ”The units of speech etiquette reflect the constant social characteristics of the participants in communication: their age, degree of education, upbringing, place of birth, upbringing and residence, gender, as well as variable social roles (comrade, patient, client, police officer and etc.).

Usually they name more than ten most important etiquette positions (situations) that are distinctly different and have their own etiquette dictionary, which is characterized by a variety of options: appeal and attract attention, acquaintance, greeting, farewell, apology, gratitude, congratulation, wish, compliment, sympathy, invitation, request , consent, refusal.

In the scientific, business, socio-political, and everyday spheres, not only typical situations of R. e. Are repeated, but new ones are created. For example, in the scientific sphere of communication, the sphere of speech etiquette includes the rules of self-manifestation of the author of a scientific work, and in the business sphere, in particular, in judicial communication, the rules of expression of attitude to the defendants and victims. Thus, a number of situations R. e. not closed, but, on the contrary, open to a wide area of \u200b\u200bsocially and nationally specific stereotypes of communication.

In conditions of spontaneous communication, communicants are required to "automatism" in the selection and use of "polite words." The etiquette of speech is assimilated both in practical speech activity, and in the process of special, focused training or self-training. Let us call the speech formulas of the most socially significant situations, where in modern conditions the most common violations of etiquette.

Appeals: direct appeals: Ladies and Gentlemen! Citizen! Sir!  - officer .; Comrade  - officer (armenian); Brothers and sisters!  - elevation .; Friends!  - Torzh .; Pavel Antonovich! Colleague! Respected! Young man!  - commonly used .; Madam!  - iron .; Girl! Guys!  - decomp .; Old man!  - familiar. - Man! Woman! Guys! Mother! Mother! Father! Kuzmich! Ivanovna!  - spacious .; contact formulas: Do not refuse courtesy ... Be nice!  - officer .; Sorry ..., Sorry to bother ..., Sorry ...; Tell me please…; Please! Would you say?  - commonly used .; Tell me ...  - decomp .; Listen to ...; Will you tell me ...?  - space.

Greetings: Greetings! Allow me to welcome you! Glad to welcome you (see)!  - officer., Ceremony .; I wish you good health!  - officer (armenian); Hello! Good afternoon (morning, evening)! Good morning! Welcome! How are you?  - commonly used .; Welcome! Hello! What's new? How are you? Long time no see!  - decomp .; My regards! Hi, there! Ours to you!  - ironic., Joking .; Hello!  - jargon.

Acquaintance without an intermediary: Let me introduce myself! Allow (let) (you) get to know each other! Nice to meet you!  - officer .; My name is …; We will be familiar!  - neutral; through an intermediary: Let me introduce you! Let me introduce you! Meet me please!  - officer .; Meet me!  - commonly used. Let's get acquainted! Let's get acquainted!  - decomp.

Apology I have to apologize  - officer .; I urge you to forgive me! I apologize to you (my own) (deepest)!  - ceremony .; Sorry! Sorry! I apologize! I'm sorry to trouble you! Excuse me, please! Sorry for…  - commonly used.

Modern etiquette turns of speech often lost their original meaning (for example, 'thank'  - God save you; 'you are welcome'  - perhaps come, enter my house; ‘Thank you’  - I give you good). Many formulas are allegorical, metaphorical ( i apologize to you; allow to take your leave; I don’t know how to thank you; don't judge me strictly).

Means R. e. stable (close to phraseological units, for example: Enjoy Your Bath! Welcome! Please love and respect! Please come to our hut!) Despite such stability, standard, they are flexible, easy to vary. At the same time, they form detailed synonymous series, distinguished by their attachment to specific situations (officially, unofficially), to social groups and strata (commonly used, widely used (colloquially), narrowly used, i.e. colloquially, jargon), expressive and emotional shades (neutral, sublime, solemn, ceremonial, playful, ironic).

Keeping the “etiquette frame” of texts of different functional styles, the author should consciously choose from the synonymic series only those means that are extra-linguistically determined, i.e. goals, objectives, conditions of communication. Indeed, humorous, friendly appeals, appropriate in private correspondence, are completely inconsistent with the style of official business letters. In the scientific sphere, in order to preserve the objectiveness of the presentation, it is not customary to categorically disagree with the opponent’s point of view (a negative assessment is mitigated, indirectly expressed using euphemisms). In the socio-political sphere, the neutralization of assessment in speech is impossible in principle, because communication here involves an open expression of one’s position.

In the use of etiquette phrases, the role of intonation (it should be friendly) and non-verbal means of communication (truthful facial expressions, especially the eyes, as well as gestures, facial expressions, postures, body movements) is huge.

R. e. opposed to "anti-etiquette." However, not only in the wrong choice of formulas can be manifested non-mastery of speech etiquette. Its violations are varied and are found: in tactlessness, cheeky familiarity, rudeness (boss in relation to subordinates, student to teacher, young to elderly, men to women, in the family); in administrative administration, insult, humiliation, abuse, abuse (when communicating between the boss and subordinate, service workers and customers, teachers and students, officials and visitors, husband and wife, parents and children).

R. e. - an integral element of the culture of the people, an important part of the culture of behavior and communication, a product of the cultural activity of man. The main features of national Russian etiquette can be formulated as maxims of etiquette speech behavior. The speaker should: show only a good attitude towards the interlocutor through appropriate courtesy (taking into account the age, gender, official or social position of the addressee); Do not impose your own opinions and assessments on the interlocutor, be able to take the partner’s point of view select language means in accordance with the chosen tone of the text, focusing not only on the communication situation as a whole, but also on the official or unofficial situation; Do not interrupt the interlocutor; adequately respond to the appeal and the question posed by the interlocutor; use the opportunities of non-verbal means of communication.

All these rules are based on the principles of cooperation (with a partner in achieving communication goals) and the principle of courtesy (respect for the partner), i.e. tolerance, harmonious speech communication.

The study of Russian speech etiquette began with an article by V.G. Kostomarova "Russian speech etiquette" (1967). In recent decades, thanks primarily to the works of N.I. Formanovskaya, R. e. becomes the subject of linguistic research. Moreover, scientific research is carried out in various aspects: linguoculturological ( Akishina, Formanovskaya, 1975), pragmatic ( Formanovskaya, 1982, 1989), sociolinguistic ( Goldin, 1978), methodical ( Lazutkina, 1998; Smelkova, 1997). As a result, multilevel linguistic means used in communication as etiquette formulas were identified, the semantics of these units, their social meanings ( Formanovskaya) The classification of these formulas by situation has received scientific justification. So, their socio-stylistic marking is revealed, the national specificity of Russian R. e. in comparison with some other languages \u200b\u200b(in particular with the Hungarian and Czech languages, see in the book: Formanovskaya N.I., Sepeshi E., 1986; Formanovskaya N.I., Fatny P.G., 1986; Formanovskaya, 1989). Studied etiquette dialogue and its genres: apology, gratitude, praise, etc. ( Arutyunova, 1970; 1998). In recent years, there has been an increase in the study of speech etiquette in the genological aspect ( Tarasenko, 2000). In connection with the actualization of linguistic and methodological research, a study of the use of R. e. in various areas of communication, e.g. in the business field ( Smelkova, 1997; Koltunova, 2000).

Lit.: Kostomarov V.G. Russian speech etiquette. - ROW. - 1967. - No. 1; Arutyunova N.D. Some types of dialogical reactions and why are replicas in Russian. - Fn. - 1970. - No. 3; Her: Man and his world. - M., 1998; Akishina A.A., Formanovskaya N.I. Russian speech etiquette. - M., 1975; Them: Etiquette of the Russian letter. - M., 1986; Goldin V.E. Speech and etiquette. - M., 1978; Formanovskaya N.I. Russian speech etiquette: linguistic and methodological aspects. - M., 1982; Her: Use of Russian speech etiquette. - M., 1982; Her: Speech etiquette and communication culture. - M., 1989; Her: Speech etiquette. - LES; Formanovskaya N.I., Sepeshi E. Russian speech etiquette in the mirror of Hungarian. - M .; Budapest, 1986; Formanovskaya N.I., Fatny P.G. Russian speech etiquette in a mirror of Czech. - M .; Prague, 1986; Akishina A.A. Etiquette of a Russian telephone conversation. - M., 1990; Vereshchagin E.M., Kostomarov V.G. Language and culture. - 4th ed. - M., 1990; Smelkova Z.S. Business man: culture of verbal communication. - M., 1997; Lazutkina E.M. Ethics of verbal communication and etiquette speech formulas // Culture of Russian speech. - M., 1998; Tumina L.E. Speech etiquette // Pedagogical speech. Dictionary dictionary. - M., 1998; Tarasenko T.V. Etiquette genres of Russian speech: gratitude, apology, congratulations, condolences: Abstract.  ... cand. filol. n - Krasnoyarsk, 1999; Koltunova M.V. Language and business communication: Norms, etiquette. - M., 2000.

L.R. Duskayeva, O.V. Protopopova

Stylistic encyclopedic dictionary of the Russian language. - M :. Flint, Science. Edited by M.N. Leather. 2003 .

See what "Speech Etiquette" is in other dictionaries:

Speech etiquette - rules of speech behavior in the service. Speech etiquette includes: sustainable forms of appeal, statement of requests, expressions of gratitude; methods of argumentation taking into account the current situation, etc. Distinguish the speech etiquette of conducting business conversations, ... ... Financial vocabulary

SPEECH ETIQUETTE  - SPEECH ETIQUETTE. Socially defined and nationally specific rules of verbal behavior, implemented in a system of stable formulas and expressions adopted in situations of “polite” contact with the interlocutor prescribed by society. In such situations ... ... A new dictionary of methodological terms and concepts (theory and practice of language teaching)

Speech etiquette  - Speech etiquette is a system of sustainable communication formulas prescribed by society for establishing voice contact of interlocutors, maintaining communication in a chosen tone according to their social roles and role positions relative to each other ... Linguistic Encyclopedic Dictionary

Speech etiquette  - a system of nationally specific, stereotypical, stable communication formulas adopted by society to establish contact between interlocutors, to maintain and interrupt it (in a chosen tone). The communicative function of language is realized in R. e. ... ... Pedagogical speech

speech etiquette  - rules for the formulation of statements, which is perceived as ethically acceptable, polite. The most reflect the norms of speech etiquette of circulation (you / you, middle name, last name, etiquette epithets dear, dear); greetings and answers to them ... ... Literary Encyclopedia

speech etiquette  - units The system of speech communication formulas adopted in this society, used to establish contact and maintain discourse. * Sorry, they are waiting for me. Goodbye, Vanya. Say hello to your wife; Sergey Fedorovich, I don’t dare to detain you anymore ... ... Learning Dictionary of Stylistic Terms

Speech etiquette  - A system of stable communication formulas prescribed by society for establishing voice contact of interlocutors, maintaining communication in a chosen tone according to their social roles and role positions relative to each other, mutual ... ... Dictionary of Sociolinguistic Terms

Speech etiquette  - - speech politeness, manifested in standard formulas and rules of communication. In many respects it has a ritual connotation and is sometimes applied mechanically. So, there are certain speech rules and polite formulas for a welcome situation at a meeting ... Encyclopedic Dictionary of Psychology and Pedagogy

In any place, no matter where the person is, it is always customary to politely contact the interlocutor. We say hello every day, thank, apologize, offer, ask for something, say goodbye. Speech etiquette - the ability to politely communicate with the interlocutor.Using etiquette in everyday communication will help you build good and trusting relationships with people.

Features

Since ancient times, human communication and human speech have played a huge role in the life and culture of mankind. Speech culture is reflected in the languages \u200b\u200bof various countries and peoples. Thanks to linguistic traditions, we have an idea about the culture of countries, about their national values \u200b\u200band worldview.

Human speech is the most important sign by which one can understand the level of development and literacy of a person.Do not underestimate the importance of etiquette in the life of any person, since it is he who often acts as a connecting element in work and social life.

Speech etiquette implies a set of norms, thanks to which a person understands how to communicate, maintain relationships with other people in different life situations. The rules of etiquette are very diverse, there is no common single "formula" of communication. Any country is rich in its cultural subtleties of communication.

This type of etiquette interacts very strongly with the practice of communication, its components are available in any conversation. If you correctly follow the rules of speech etiquette, then to the person you can correctly and clearly convey what you want from him. Mutual understanding and sympathy are also achieved much faster.

Speech etiquette borders on other humanities - linguistics (as well as its subsections - morphology, lexicology, stylistics, phonetics, phraseology, etymology and others), psychology, and, of course, the cultural characteristics of other countries.

For successful mastery of cultural conversation skills, speech etiquette formulas should be applied.

Starting formulas are vaccinated to the child from childhood. This is what parents teach us - how to greet a person properly, say goodbye, express gratitude, apologize. Getting older, each person adopts new features in communication, learns various types of speech.

It is important to note that the ability to politely maintain a conversation with an opponent, express your thoughts correctly, shows you as a polite interlocutor.

So, etiquette formulas are a set of generally recognized words and expressions that are used in a conversation. They are applied in three stages of a conversation:

• Beginning of the conversation (greeting).  The phrases that are chosen for greetings depend on your interlocutor. It is important to consider his gender, age, social status. Hard frames are missing. The standard greeting is “Hello!” "Or" Good morning! ". Such treatment is universal and suitable for everyone - both for your friends and relatives, and for the authorities.
• The main part of the conversation. Here the formulas depend on the purpose of the conversation.
• Conclusion. According to general rules, it is customary to say goodbye or arrange a subsequent meeting. You can use universal options: "Goodbye! "Or" All the best. "

A bit of history

As already noted above, etiquette is some kind of rules of behavior that are instilled in a person from childhood. The concept of the foundations of this definition is based on cultural values. Compliance with these standards helps to build good relationships with people. Today's etiquette has not been invented intentionally. Words, phrases and various techniques of conversation have been formed over many centuries in the process of communication between people.

The word etiquette itself is of Greek origin. It means "order." Subsequently, the word took root in France. It began to be used at the end of the XVII century, during the reign of Louis XIV. The word Etiquette denoted a card on which the standards of conduct at the king's table were indicated.

The rules of speech etiquette were formed in ancient times, when a person was just starting to learn how to build relationships with his interlocutor. Already in those days, certain norms of behavior began to form, helping to gain understanding and make a favorable impression on the interlocutor.

Norms of correct behavior can be found in the manuscripts of the inhabitants of Ancient Greece and Ancient Egypt. In those days, these norms were a kind of ritual with which people could understand that they did not pose a threat to each other, think “on the same wavelength”.

Functions

The basic purpose of speech etiquette is the formation of communication and contact between groups of people. Compliance with general rules and norms makes the interlocutor more understandable to other people. We understand what can be expected from him, as we begin to trust the familiar communication skills.

This feature arose even in ancient times, when a man was in danger everywhere. At that time, observance of the ritual of communication was very important. When another person, he was an interlocutor, performed familiar and understandable actions, called out necessary and understandable words, this greatly simplified the interaction, mitigating distrust.

Now we at the genetic level understand that a person who complies with these standards can be trusted. The norms form a favorable atmosphere, have a positive effect on the person with whom the conversation is being conducted.

With the help of etiquette, we demonstrate our respect and reverence to our opponent. Etiquette emphasizes the status of a person.

In general, we can say that the use of the simplest norms of speech etiquette helps to avoid the occurrence of many conflict situations.

Kinds

It is important to note that written and oral etiquette is very different. Written ethics are strictly regulated, have a more rigid framework, it is important to comply with its standards. Conversational ethics is freer in its manifestation, you can replace words and phrases with action, and sometimes omissions are allowed. An example is a greeting - instead of the usual “Good afternoon / evening!” »You can nod your head slightly or replace it with a small bow. In some situations, this is dictated by ethical rules of conduct.

Etiquette is divided into the following types:

• Business. It is also called official. It normalizes human behavior when it performs its duties. It is characteristic of official documentation, negotiation, public speaking. It can also be used for discourse-polemical speech.
• Daily.  It is characterized by great freedom of action. As the name implies, it is actively used by us in everyday life.

The application of etiquette in different environments may vary. For example, one can switch from an official situation to an informal one if there is a change in the appeal to the person you are talking from the official “You” to the more familiar “You”.

Proper application of the types of etiquette will help improve your communication skills.

Principles

All norms of behavior are initially based on generally accepted moral principles. Elements of speech etiquette were no exception.

The main principle can be characterized by the correct attitude towards the interlocutor. In any conversation, it is important to put yourself in the place of the interlocutor. This will help smooth out sharp corners and avoid unwanted conflicts.

Language etiquette consists of principles that can be called "basic terms":

• Brevity;
• Relevance;
• Literacy;
• Accuracy.

It is important to select phrases that are suitable for a particular situation, taking into account the status of the person, as well as the degree of your acquaintance with him. Speech should be concise but appropriate. It is important not to lose meaning when talking.

The interlocutor should be treated with respect, showing the necessary degree of respect.

The most fundamental principles of etiquette can be called benevolence and mutual cooperation. It is these principles that give rise to productive and mutually beneficial communication.

General rules

Cultural speech cannot exist without observing the general norms of communication between people:

• When referring to another person, it is important to take into account gender, social status, and, of course, the age of the interlocutor. Phrases and words that you can say to a friend may not be acceptable to a stranger, your boss, or someone aged.
• The use of "you" and "you." On “you” it is customary to contact family members, friends, close relatives and some acquaintances. To an interlocutor who is younger than you in age, such an appeal is also acceptable. “You” is considered a neutral polite appeal to a stranger, a person who has a higher position, to the older generation. The violation of the boundaries between “you” and “you” is considered to be familiar and rude, uncivil.
• Rudeness, scornful tone and insults should not be in your speech. If, due to circumstances, it is not possible to be benevolent towards the interlocutor, then it is better to use a neutral respectful tone.
• It is terribly ugly and disrespectful when communicating with a person that yawning, the manifestation of boredom, constant interruption.

If words and phrases can be called verbal means of communication, then gestures and facial expressions are non-verbal methods of influencing people. It is important to monitor facial expressions and gestures. Excessive gestures are usually unacceptable. Following these simple rules will help you become a good conversationalist.

Different situations

Human behavior in various situations is based on etiquette. So this includes:

• Establishing contact (greeting);
• Acquaintance;
• Appeal;
• Advice;
• Sentence;
• Acknowledgment;
• Consent or refusal;
• Congratulation;
• Compliment and stuff.

For various situations, there are standard speech formulas. Let's consider some situations in more detail.

Making contact

In this case, the etiquette formulas are aimed at establishing contact with the interlocutor. This is a greeting from the other person. The most universal and frequently used is the word "Hello." This word has many synonyms: from the simple “Hello” in close relations to the standard polite “Good time of day” and “My respect”. The use of synonyms for greeting is determined by many factors - the degree of acquaintance, age, proximity of the opponent, and, ultimately, your area of \u200b\u200bwork.

When making contact, greeting is an important point. The words “sorry” or “sorry” or “you can contact you” can attract a person’s attention. An explanatory phrase is added to them, why you turned to the person: a request, proposal or presentation.

The situation of the appeal is the most difficult etiquette situation, since it is not always easy to find the appropriate appeal to the person.

In Soviet times, the standard word was the universal word "Comrade." It was used in relation to all people, regardless of their gender. Currently, the reference is used "Sir" or "Madame".

It is considered polite to contact the person using his name and patronymic. The appeal “Woman” or “Girl”, “Young Man” is inappropriate and rude. In the performance of official duties, reference may be made to the title of the post: “Mr. Deputy Director”

When addressing a person, one cannot indicate any of his personal characteristics (gender, nationality, social status, age, religion).

Contact completion

This stage is important in that the interlocutor will make a final impression on you about it. When parting, you can use the standard phrases: "See you," "Goodbye," "All the best." With closer contact or a longer acquaintance, you can use an informal farewell in the form of the word “Bye”.

In the final stage of contact, it is reasonable to include gratitude for the time allotted for communication and for the work done. You may wish for further interaction. At the conclusion of the conversation, it is important to make a good impression. In the future, this will help to find long-term and mutually beneficial cooperation.

Consider also the situation of dating. It is important to pay attention to handling. As already mentioned above, on “You” it is customary to refer to familiar people with whom you are in close or friendly relations. In other cases, it is preferable to use the appeal "You".

If you represent people to each other, you can use the following phrases: “Let me introduce you,” “Let me introduce you.” The presenting person should give a small general description of the presented, for the convenience of the interlocutor. Usually called last name, first name and patronymic, position and any important detail. Acquainted interlocutors usually pronounce words that they are glad to meet you.

Congratulations and thanks

To express gratitude, a sufficiently large number of speech formulas are used. These include the phrases “Thank you,” “Thank you,” “Very grateful,” and so on.

There are also many phrases for congratulations. In addition to the usual “Congratulations”, it is customary to come up with individual congratulations, various holiday poems.

Invitation and offer

When inviting an interlocutor to various events, it is important to observe certain standards of behavior. The elements of the invitation and suggestions are partly like, in them it is customary to emphasize the special significance of the person.

Persistent phrases for invitations: "We invite you ...", "Please be kind to visit ...", "Please come ...". At the invitation, it is appropriate to indicate that you are waiting for the interlocutor. This can be done using the phrase "We will be glad to see you."

The request is characterized by the use of the stable expressions “We ask you,” “Could you.”

Any request or proposal is subject to consent or denial. Consent is concise and concise. A refusal is best formalized with a mitigating reasoning that explains the reason for the refusal.

Condolences, sympathy and apology

In the life of any person there are tragic moments when you have to use speech etiquette with condolences or sympathy. The main rule is that this should be done as tactfully as possible so as not to aggravate the situation.

It is important that your words are spoken sincerely, encouraging words are recommended.In expressing condolences, it is appropriate to offer your help. For example, you can say: "Please accept my sincere condolences in connection ... You can count on my help if necessary."

Compliments and praise

Compliments are one of the important components of any relationship between people. With their help, you can significantly strengthen the relationship. But you have to be careful. From compliments to flattery, there is a very thin line; they are distinguished only by the degree of exaggeration.

According to the general rules of etiquette, compliments should relate directly to the person, and not to things. Consider a specific situation. How to compliment a woman in a beautiful dress? According to the general rules of etiquette, it will be incorrect to say: “This dress suits you like that!” ". Correctly use the phrase "You are so good in this dress! ".

A slight permutation of words emphasizes the beauty of a person, not a dress.

In the modern world, it is very important to use praise. You can praise the interlocutor for his character, for special skills, for work and even for his feelings.

National traits

Speech etiquette takes its base on generally accepted human principles of morality. The essence of etiquette is identical in many cultures of different countries. This includes literacy, politeness in communication, restraint and the ability to use generally accepted speech formulas that will correspond to a specific situation.

But there are still some cultural differences in the speech etiquette of countries. In Russia, for example, etiquette involves maintaining a conversation, including with strangers (unfamiliar) people. A similar situation can occur in a confined space - an elevator, a train compartment, a bus cabin.

In other countries (especially Asian countries - Japan, China, South Korea), people try to avoid talking with strangers. They try not to meet their eyes with the interlocutor, do not pay attention to him, look at the phone. If conversation cannot be avoided, then they talk on the most abstract and neutral topics (for example, about the weather).

Consider the difference in speech etiquette in different countries on the example of Japan. Relations between people in this country are based on traditions and have some conventions. In this country, any greeting is accompanied by an indispensable bow, which is called "Odzigi".

Interesting relationships of people of different ages. If a person is older, then his position in society is higher than the position of a younger interlocutor. This rule is followed even in the family circle. The girl does not address her brother who is older by name, but uses the phrase “nii-san,” which means “older brother,” while the younger sister will use the word “oneee-san” (translated as older sister).

If we compare the position of a man and a woman, then the man is a superior person. The same principle applies to father and mother. Although a woman may be the head of the family, her social status is lower.

In the workplace, where positions are strictly registered, a person with a lower rank will bow lower to a higher colleague.

A special place in Japan is given to greetings, bow takes an important place. Residents of Japan bow to other people several times a day. Greetings at the helm help create an enabling environment for communication. By this you have the interlocutor to yourself, showing such an important respect.

Any words of greeting must be expressed with due respect to the interlocutor. In no case should manifestations of arrogance and familiarity be allowed. Do not go over the permissible level of trust in you.

For us, these behavioral features (bows, for example) may seem strange, including from an aesthetic point of view, yet it is worth respecting the culture of others and traditions. Therefore, when talking with a foreigner, you should have at least a little idea about the stylistic communication and etiquette culture of his country. This will be a good basis for further communication with each other.

See the following video for the basics of speech etiquette and conversation rules.

Rules and regulations of speech etiquette

Speech communication is the unity of two parties (transmission and perception of information).

Forms of communication are oral and written.

The spheres of speech communication are social, social, cultural, educational, scientific, political, official business.

With the help of verbal formulas of etiquette, we express relationships when we meet and part, when we thank or apologize to someone, in a situation of acquaintance, and in many other cases. Each language has its own stock of label formulas. Their composition in the Russian language is most fully described by A. A. Akishina and N. I. Formanovskaya, the authors of numerous works on contemporary Russian speech etiquette. The conceptual core of speech etiquette is the concept of politeness as an indispensable condition for tolerant speech communication in various forms: tact, friendliness, courtesy, correctness, courtesy, gallantry, courtesy, affability, etc.

Rules for talking on the phone: should distinguish between formal and informal conversations; business calls are conducted on working devices, unofficial - on home; It is indecent to call before 9 a.m. and after 10 p.m. you can’t call strangers, if you have to do this, you must definitely explain who gave the phone; the conversation should not be long - 3-5 minutes; the person who is being called is not required to call himself, even if it is an office phone; it is impermissible for the caller to start a conversation with the questions: “Who is speaking?”, “Who is on the phone?”

The semantic parts of a telephone conversation: establishing contact (establishing identity, checking audibility); start of a conversation (greeting, question about the opportunity to speak, questions about life, business, health, communication about the purpose of the call); topic development (topic development, information exchange, expression of opinions); friendly tone, clear pronunciation of words, average pace of speech, neutral voice volume; the end of the conversation (final phrases summarizing the topic of conversation, etiquette phrases, farewell).

Label standards; labeling technique

In modern linguistics, the term "norm" is understood in two meanings: firstly, the norm is the generally accepted use of various language means, regularly repeated in the speech of the speakers (reproduced by the speakers), and secondly, the instructions, rules, usage guidelines recorded by textbooks, dictionaries reference books.

You can find several definitions of the norm. For example, S.I. Ozhegova said: “The norm is the totality of the most suitable (“ right ”,“ preferred ”) language tools for serving the society, which develops as a result of the selection of language elements (lexical, pronunciation, morphological, syntactic) from the number of coexisting, existing, re-formed extracted from the passive stock of the past in the process of social, in the broad sense, assessment of these elements. " In the encyclopedia "Russian language" - "Norm (linguistic), literary norm - the rules of pronunciation, grammatical and other linguistic means adopted by the social and speech practice of educated people, the rules of usage".

The definition: "... the norm is the existing linguistic units and the obligatory for all members of the collective linguistic units and patterns of their use, moreover, these compulsory units can either be the only possible or act as coexisting in the limits of the literary language of options. "

In order to recognize a regulatory phenomenon, the following conditions are necessary:

• 1) regular usability (reproducibility) of this method of expression,
• 2) the correspondence of this method of expression to the capabilities of the literary language system (taking into account its historical restructuring),
• 3) public approval of the regularly reproduced method of expression (and the role of the judge in this case falls to the lot of writers, scientists, educated part of society).

The above definitions relate to the language norm. The concept of the speech norm is closely related to the concept of a functional style. If linguistic norms are the same for the literary language as a whole, they unite all normative units regardless of the specifics of their functioning, then speech norms establish the patterns of use of linguistic means in one or another functional style and its variations. These are functional-style norms, they can be defined as currently mandatory patterns of selection and organization of language tools depending on the situation, goals and objectives of communication, on the nature of the statement. For example, from the point of view of the language norm, the forms are considered correct on holiday -- on vacation by the door -- the door, the student reading - the student who is reading, Masha is beautiful - Masha is beautiful  etc., however, the choice of one or another specific form, one or another word depends on speech norms, on communicative expediency.

Speech is closely related to ethics. Ethics prescribes the rules of moral behavior (including communication), involves certain behaviors, and requires the use of external politeness formulas expressed in specific speech actions.

Compliance with etiquette in violation of ethical standards is hypocrisy and deception of others. On the other hand, completely ethical behavior, not accompanied by observance of etiquette, will inevitably make an unpleasant impression and will cause people to doubt the moral qualities of the person.

In oral communication, it is necessary to observe a number of ethical and etiquette norms that are closely related to each other.

Rules and norms of speech etiquette at the beginning of communication: appeal, greeting

Greeting: If the addressee is unfamiliar to the subject of speech, then communication begins with dating. In this case, it can occur directly and indirectly. According to the rules of good form, it is not customary to enter into a conversation with a stranger and to introduce oneself. However, there are times when this is necessary. Etiquette prescribes the following formulas: Let me get to know you; I would like to meet you; Let's get acquainted. When visiting an institution, office, office, when there is a conversation with an official and you need to introduce yourself, the following formulas are used: Let (allow) me to introduce myself My last name Kolesnikov. Formal and informal meetings of acquaintances, and sometimes strangers, begin with a greeting. In Russian, the main greeting is hello. It goes back to the Old Slavic verb hello, which means "to be healthy", i.e. healthy. Along with this form is a greeting indicating the time of the meeting: Good morning, Good afternoon, Good evening. In addition to common greetings, there are greetings that emphasize the joy of meeting, respectful attitude, desire to communicate: I am very glad to see you !; Welcome!; My regards! A case in point is that it makes it possible to observe the entry, penetration into someone else’s environment through the implementation of etiquette speech rules accepted in that environment and pleasant forms of greeting: “Hello, Iron, how are you? I told him as unceremoniously as possible. Things are like in Poland: whoever has the cart is the pan, ”he answered briskly, as if we had known him for a hundred years” (Ch. Aitmatov. Scaffold). Well, if the hero would use the usual for himself (characteristic of his own social characteristics) you would be unfamiliar and would remain a stranger.

Village residents tend to greet even strangers, sending them a sign of goodwill. Hello, pleases us. Be that as it may, we need the etiquette sign of greeting at least to say: I notice you.

Appeal:  Conversion is one of the most important and necessary components of speech etiquette. The appeal is used at any stage of communication, throughout its duration, serves as its integral part. At the same time, the norm of use of the appeal and its form are not finally established, they cause controversy, they are a sore spot in Russian speech etiquette.

The monarchical system in Russia of the twentieth century maintained a division into people into estates: nobles, clergy, commoners, merchants, bourgeois, peasants. Hence the appeal of Mr., Madame, in relation to people of privileged classes; Monsieur, madam - for the middle class or gentleman, mistress for both and the absence of a single appeal to representatives of the lower class.

In other civilized countries, appeals were the same for all strata and estates (Mr., Mrs., Miss - England, USA; Signor, Signorina, Signora - Italy; Pan, Pani - Poland, Czech Republic and Slovakia)

After the revolution, all the old ranks are abolished and two new appeals are introduced: “comrade” and “citizen”. The word "citizen" comes from the Old Slavic townsman (resident of the city). In the XVIII century, this word takes on the meaning of "a full member of society, the state." But in the twentieth century, especially in the 1920s and 1930s, the custom appeared, and then it became the norm for people arrested, convicted, imprisoned to employees of law enforcement bodies and, conversely, not to speak comrade, only a citizen. As a result, the word citizen for many began to be associated with detention, arrest, police, and prosecutors. The negative association gradually “grew” into the word, that it became an integral part of it, became so entrenched in the minds of people that it became impossible to use the word citizen as a commonly used message.

The fate of the word comrade was somewhat different. It came to us from the Turkic language in the 15th century and had the root tavar, meaning "property, livestock, goods." Probably, initially the companion had the meaning of "trading companion", then it was supplemented by the value of "Friend". Since the end of the 19th century, Marxist circles have been created in Russia, their members called each other comrades. In the days of communism, the comrade was the main appeal to a person, later it was replaced by words like: man, woman, grandfather, father, boyfriend, aunt, uncle. These addresses can be perceived by the addressee as disrespect for him, unacceptable familiarity.

From the end of the 80s of the last century, appeals began to come back into use: gentleman, mistress, sir, madam. Appeal comrade legislatively left as an official appeal to the armed forces and other power structures, as well as communist organizations, factory and factory collectives.

After the greeting, a business conversation usually begins. Speech etiquette provides for several reasons that are determined by the situation. The most typical 3 situations: solemn, working, mournful.

The first includes public holidays, anniversaries of the enterprise and employees, receiving awards, birthdays, name days, significant dates of the family or its members, presentation, conclusion of an agreement, creation of a new organization. For any solemn occasion, a significant event, invitations and congratulations follow. Depending on the situation (official, semi-official, unofficial), invitation and congratulatory cliches vary.

Invitation: Allow (allow) to invite you., Come to a holiday (anniversary, meeting ..), we will be glad to see you.

Congratulation: Please accept my (most) sincere (warm, warm, sincere) congratulations ..; On behalf of (on behalf of) congratulations; heartily (warmly) congratulations.

As in all other situations of interpersonal communication, congratulations should be extremely correct, appropriate and sincere. Only here with sincerity you need to be very careful.

Congratulation is a society’s ritual of respect and joy for a loved one, but this is not a method of conversation or correspondence; purely personal topics and questions of the addressee of the congratulation should not be sounded in congratulations. The content of the congratulation is an expression of joy, but nothing more.

The mournful situation is associated with death, death, murder and other events that bring misfortune, grief. In this case, condolences are expressed. It should not be dry, breech. Formulas of condolence, as a rule, are stylistically elevated, emotionally colored: Allow (allow) to express (to you) your (my) deep (sincere) condolences. I bring (to you) my (accept mine, please accept mine) deep (sincere) condolences. I share (understand) your sadness (your grief, misfortune)

The listed reasons (invitation, congratulations, condolences, expressions of sympathy) do not always go into business communication, sometimes the conversation ends with them.

In everyday business environment (business, work situation), speech etiquette formulas are also used. For example, when summarizing the work, when determining the results of the sale of goods, there is a need to thank someone or, conversely, make a censure, make a comment. At any job, in any organization, someone may need to give advice, make a proposal, ask, express consent, allow, prohibit, refuse someone.

Acknowledgment: Allow (allow) to express (big, huge) thanks to Nikolai Petrovich Bystrov for the excellent (excellently) organized exhibition; the company (directorate, administration) expresses gratitude to all employees for ...

In addition to official thanks, there are also ordinary, unofficial thanks. This is an ordinary “thank you”, “you are very kind”, “not worth thanks”, etc.

Remarks, warning: A company (directorate, board, editorial) is forced to make a (serious) warning (remark) .., Unfortunately (sorry), I must (have to) make a remark (make a censure). Often people, especially those endowed with power, consider it necessary to express their proposals, advice in a categorical form: Everyone (you) must (must) ... categorically (persistently) advise (suggest) to do ... Advice, suggestions expressed in this form are similar to an order or an order and do not always give rise to a desire to follow it, especially if the conversation takes place between colleagues of the same rank. The “magic” of speech etiquette is that it really opens the door to our human interactions. Try to say, for example, in transport: Move over! Your addressee is likely to interpret this as a gross demand and will be entitled not to perform the action. And add the magic please - and the imperative form already expresses the request, and only the request, quite respectful, directed to an equal partner. And there are many more ways to address this situation: is it not difficult for you to move ?; If it does not bother you, please move and many others. other

Courtesy and understanding: Be mutually polite - call us in the shops. You need to be polite - parents teach the children ... What does it mean to be polite, why are we accustomed to this from early childhood, why is this necessary? To answer these questions, first of all, we consider the ratio of phenomena such as etiquette and politeness. Recall that etiquette and speech etiquette are the rules adopted in a particular society, a circle of people, norms of behavior, including speech behavior (in accordance with the distribution of social roles in an official and unofficial communication environment), which, on the one hand, they regulate, and on the other hand, they discover, show the relations of members of society along approximately the following lines: one’s - a stranger, a superior - a lower, a senior - the youngest, distant - close, familiar - unfamiliar and even pleasant - unpleasant. He came to the circle of guys, said to his friends: Great, guys! In this case, he chose such signs of speech behavior that put him on an equal footing with others, demonstrate a rudely familiar tone of communication that is so characteristic of adolescents, these signs tell others: "I am my own, close." He cannot say to the leader of the circle, even to a young one: Great, man, since in this case the norms of role relations will be violated, because the senior in position should be given attention signs corresponding to seniority. Without doing this, a person will be impolite. So, impolite is such a manifestation when the addressee is assigned a role below that which belongs to him in accordance with his attributes. Therefore, violation of etiquette always turns into impolite, disrespectful partner. Well, and politeness? Politeness is a moral quality that characterizes a person for whom respect for people has become an everyday norm of behavior and a familiar way of dealing with others. So courtesy is a sign of respect. Courtesy is a willingness to provide service to those who need it, and delicacy, and tact. And, of course, timely and appropriate speech manifestation - speech etiquette - an integral element of courtesy. Since politeness is a form of showing respect for another, then respect itself implies recognition of the dignity of the person, as well as sensitivity, delicacy in relation to another. If, from this point of view, we look at the example of “Great guys!” - in relation to peers familiar to teenagers, it can be noted that in this greeting and address there is no special reflection of respect, there is only a sign of “one's own” entering into speech contact, “ equal ”in a relaxed, familiar relationship. Hence, there is no special politeness here.

Courtesy is necessary when conducting business communication.

Firstly, you need to respect and benevolent attitude to the interlocutor. It is forbidden to inflict insult to the interlocutor with his speech, insult, express neglect. Direct negative assessments of the personality of the communication partner should be avoided, only specific actions can be evaluated, while observing the necessary tact. Rude words, a cheeky form of speech, an arrogant tone are unacceptable in intelligent communication. And on the practical side, such features of speech behavior are inappropriate, because never contribute to achieving the desired result in communication.

Politeness in communication involves understanding the situation, taking into account the age, gender, official and social position of the communication partner. These factors determine the degree of official communication, the choice of label formulas, the range of topics suitable for discussion.

Secondly, the speaker is instructed to be modest in self-esteem, not to impose their own opinions, to avoid excessive categoricality in speech.

Moreover, it is necessary to put the communication partner in the spotlight, show interest in his personality, opinion, take into account his interest in a particular topic.

It is also necessary to take into account the listener's ability to perceive the meaning of your statements, it is advisable to give him time to rest, concentrate. For the sake of this, it is worth avoiding too long sentences, it is useful to take small pauses, use speech formulas to maintain contact: you, of course, know ...; you will probably be interested to know ...; as you see ...; note…; it should be noted ... etc.

The norms of communication determine the behavior of the listener.

Firstly, it is necessary to postpone other matters in order to listen to the person. This rule is especially important for those professionals whose job is to serve customers.

When listening, you need to respect and be patient with the speaker, try to listen to everything carefully and to the end. In case of strong employment, it is permissible to ask to wait or postpone the conversation to another time. In official communication, it is completely unacceptable to interrupt the interlocutor, to insert various comments, especially those that sharply characterize the interlocutor's proposals and requests. Like the speaker, the listener puts his interlocutor in the center of attention, emphasizes his interest in communicating with him. You should also be able to timely agree or disagree, answer a question, ask your question.

When the conversation ends, the interlocutors use the formulas of separation, termination of communication. They express a wish (All the best to you (good)! Goodbye!); hope for a new meeting (Until the evening (tomorrow, Saturday); I hope we part for a short time. I hope to see you soon); doubt about the possibility of meeting again (Goodbye! It is unlikely that we will see each other again. Do not remember badly!).

In addition to the usual forms of farewells, there is a long-established ritual of compliment. A compliment tactfully and in time, he cheers up the addressee and sets up a positive attitude towards the opponent. A compliment is said at the beginning of a conversation, at a meeting, acquaintance or during a conversation, at parting. The compliment is always pleasant. Only a sincere compliment, a compliment for the sake of a compliment, an overly enthusiastic compliment is dangerous. The compliment refers to the appearance, testifies to the excellent professional abilities of the addressee, his high morality, gives a general positive assessment

• “You look good (excellent, wonderful).”
• - You are (so, very) charming (smart, resourceful, practical).
• - You are a good (excellent, wonderful) specialist.
• - It is pleasant (excellent, good) to deal with you (work, collaborate).
• - It was nice to meet you!
• - You are a very nice (interesting) person (interlocutor).

The absence of a farewell ritual or its sloppiness or crumpledness does not mean that the person left "in English", this either speaks of a negative, hostile or hostile attitude of a person or of his banal lack of education.

Etiquette also applies to written language.

An important issue of business letter etiquette is the choice of appeal. For standard letters on formal or minor occasions, the appeal "Dear Mr. Petrov!" For a letter to a superior leader, an invitation letter or any other letter on an important issue, it is advisable to use the word dear and call the addressee by name and patronymic.

In business documents, it is necessary to skillfully use the capabilities of the grammar system of the Russian language.

So, for example, the active voice of the verb is used when it is necessary to indicate the character. Passive voice should be used when the fact of the act is more important than mentioning the perpetrators of the action.

The perfect form of the verb emphasizes the completeness of the action, and the imperfect indicates that the action is in the process of development.

In business correspondence, there is a tendency to avoid the pronoun "I". The first person is expressed by the end of the verb.

Through letters, information is exchanged, suggestions are made, negotiation is conducted, etc. Sometimes reference documentation simply confirms facts, events that need only to be taken into account.

Thus, a service letter is a generalized name for documents of various contents, drawn up in accordance with GOST, sent by mail, fax or other method.

Without exaggeration, we can say that this is one of the most common types of official documents, therefore, the success of solving specific issues, and therefore the entire enterprise as a whole, will depend on how accurate the text of the message is.

Business correspondence must necessarily meet the requirements.

Accuracy, the unambiguity of the statement. All words should be used in accordance with their lexical meaning.

Logic  Each letter is:

• - statement of the subject matter;
• - speech action;
• - conclusion.

Literacy  - a necessary part of any document

Correctness. Business correspondence is correct if it adheres to the label frame and is characterized by a benevolent or neutral tone of presentation.

The official-business style is one of the functional styles of the modern Russian literary language: a set of language tools, the purpose of which is to serve the sphere of official-business relations (business relations between organizations, within them, between legal entities and individuals). Business speech is realized in the form of written documents, built according to the rules uniform for each of their genre varieties. Types of documents differ in the specifics of their content (which official-business situations are reflected in them), and, accordingly, in their form (in the set and layout of details - the content elements of the text of the document); they are combined by a set of language tools traditionally used to transmit business information.

Etiquette of virtual communication

In general, the virtual world, at times, impresses with its anarchicity of communication, sometimes turning into a flood (sending more than two messages per second, often of primitive content). In addition to the official rules of conversation on the network, which everyone is trying to comply with, there is a so-called “unwritten code of communication”, similar to the etiquette of the real world. Here you should also say hello before starting a conversation, avoid unnecessary flooding, do not abuse exclamation marks, and also avoid the abundance of CAPITAL LETTERS, when using which the interlocutor (s) will have an ambiguous opinion about you. You should not use a large number of smiles (Eng. Smile - smile), which are digital (letters - encoded numbers) expression of emotions. As evidence of my innocence, I will quote from www.bash.org.ru: “I am verbose and a master of polemic dispute, the master of the ligature of words and the illusionist of speech. I am a verbal walking dictionary of synonyms of the Russian language. I can make a Balinese platypus from any okapi, even if they are not found in Bali. I can sell a carriage of potatoes to the Eskimos without a carriage and potatoes, but with high boots and a bag of snow. But even I’m not omnipotent and I can only shake my head on the replica of the level “:))))))”. Violation of the “unwritten code of communication” will reveal an inexperienced or “too young” user in the interlocutor, it is unlikely that he will be able to have a fruitful conversation, and his messages will just be an eyesore. (“Sirs, Peers, know the measure” (c) A. ConanDoyle). It is necessary to restrain emotions, to express oneself in essence, to be moderately verbose, then communication with you will not be a burden to others.

virtual communication

Nowadays, in addition to traditional face-to-face communication methods, there are many more virtual ones. For example, short message service (SMS) communication, which includes communication between people who have mobile phones. ICQ (ICQ for short) is a computer program that allows you to print and see messages from one or more people on a monitor. These are the main ways of virtual communication, but there are still many branches (IRC, skype, forums, etc.). The problem of such unrealistic communication is the lack of direct contact with the interlocutor, which makes it impossible to understand who you are communicating with sufficiently to trust him. In fact, the letters that form the words on your screen are an expression of the interlocutor’s thoughts. But this is not enough for full communication, because there is no visual contact and the voice of the interlocutor is not heard (skype is an exception). Another missed point in virtual communication is emotions. There is a way in network etiquette that allows you to express any primitive feelings (sadness, smile, laughter), but one wonders if a colon with a closing bracket “:)” can convey the smile of a white-toothed beauty? Unlikely. And there is no way to observe the uncontrolled reaction of the interlocutor’s body to any of your statements (be it embarrassment that contributes to reddening of the face). We will not see this, which leads to inferiority of communication. Also, there is no way to feel the timbre of the voice, the beat and other aspects of phonetics. It all comes down to a monotonous clatter on the keyboard. The life of the conversation is lost, the playfulness of the demagogues, the aesthetics of the dialogue. From the etiquette of communication, there are some bytes of rules hanging lonely on the official IRC website of communication, which almost no one reads.

It’s vital for any person to know good manners. The manifestation of good taste should be the norm of behavior. A cultural person must know the rules of etiquette and comply with them. The ability to give oneself, as well as make a good impression, will give you the opportunity to gain confidence and feel comfortable in absolutely any society.
  What is speech etiquette? Speech etiquette - the rules of polite communication and speech behavior. The ability to master speech etiquette helps to achieve authority, trust and self-respect. The constant use of speech etiquette in a business community has a positive impression on partners and clients about the organization, and is gaining a positive reputation.

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Photo gallery: Speech etiquette - rules of polite communication

Greeting.

At a meeting, one is supposed to greet not only those whom you know, but also those whom you do not know, if it is necessary to turn to this person with some kind of request or question. Certain rules of communication and etiquette exist not only in relation to the forms of greeting, but also to the conditions under which it is more advisable to use this or that form.

Usually welcome first:

• man - woman;

• the younger - the elders;

• the younger woman - the older, as well as the older man;

• junior employees - senior employees;

• latecomer - awaiting;

• the one who enters the room is already present;

• one who passes - standing;

• passing by - overtaking.

Under the same conditions, the more polite person is the first to greet.

A woman entering a room with guests already gathered there must be the first to greet those present, not waiting for the men to greet her. Meanwhile, men should not wait for a woman to approach and greet them. It would be better if the men themselves rise and go to meet her.

If a person enters the room where the guests invited by the owner are located, it is necessary to say hello to all guests at once or to each of those present individually. Approaching the table, a person should greet those present and again say hello to each of the neighbors on the table, sitting down in his place. In this case, in the first case, and in the second, it is not necessary to give a hand.

Greeting the lady, as well as the person senior in position or age, the seated man must stand up. If he greets people passing by whom he is not going to talk to, a man may not get up, but only lift himself up.

At official receptions, the owner or hostess is first welcomed, then the ladies, first older, then young; after - more senior men, and only then the rest of the guests. The owner and hostess should shake hands with all guests invited to their house.

If there are married couples at the reception, then first women greet each other, then men greet them, and only then men greet each other.

A woman who walks in the company of a man is the first to greet a woman walking or standing alone. If you are standing with someone and your companion has greeted a stranger, you need to say hello to him too. If you meet your friend in the company of a stranger, you need to say hello to both of them. You should also greet everyone in the group you are joining.

Performance.

There are a number of polite communication rules that you must follow when meeting and introducing. A man, no matter what age and position, is always the first to appear to a woman. Older in age (as well as in official position) should represent younger women and men, to a friend - less familiar (provided that they are of the same gender and age). If two people have the same position, then the younger should be introduced to the elder, the subordinate to the boss, if the person is one, then he will appear to the couple or the whole group, society, the woman should also be the first to be presented to the married couple. In this case, you must first name the person who introduces himself. You can’t just bring people to each other and say: “Get to know each other”. It is impolite to oblige people to call themselves.

If a man sits while being introduced, he must stand up. It is not necessary for a woman to get up, except for those moments when she is introduced to an older lady (or position). After meeting, people should exchange greetings or, more likely, handshakes. The one to whom it is presented is the first to reach out. It is impolite to give a pair of fingers or their tips instead of a hand. If a lady or person senior in rank or age does not give a hand, you need to bow slightly.

Conducting a conversation.

The tone of the conversation should be set absolutely natural, continuous, smooth, but by no means meticulous and playful, which means that you need to be knowledgeable, but not pedantic, cheerful, but you should not make noise, you must be polite, but politeness must not be exaggerated .

In the "high society" etiquette of communication allows you to talk about everything, but you can not delve into anything. All serious polemics should be avoided during the conversation, especially when talking about religion and politics.

An equally necessary condition for an educated and polite person is the ability to listen. If you will be able to carefully listen to the story without interrupting the narrator, be able to show your interest in the place by asking questions, like: “And what happened next? "," This is unbelievable! How could this happen? "," And how did you deal with this? ”, Then any person will be pleased to talk with you.

Do not try to suppress your interlocutor with erudition. No one wants to feel dumber than the rest. But if you don’t know anything, don’t be shy to talk about it. Most people like to talk about something that their interlocutors do not know.

In society, you can’t start talking about yourself until you specifically ask about it. But even in this situation, it is necessary to be modest, not to overestimate yourself and your capabilities.

You should not talk at a great distance, this attracts the attention of people around you, but you should not communicate “close”.