emotional attitude, reflecting a person's assessment of himself. Sharp explosive manifestations of S. are inherent in boys and girls during puberty. It is important for each person to have a certain measure of S. and self-respect. Without it, there is no individuality. However, excessive S. harms both others and the individual himself. In this case, it interferes with the correct assessment positive features in other people, can also lead to an increase in selfishness. Painful S. is a sign of a person's own inferiority complex and the cause of conflicts.

pride

predilection for oneself, vanity, resentment, the desire to have better personal qualities than others, to be above others.

In the underworld, behind the scenes, self-esteem knows no gender: the success of an artist - whether a man or a woman is indifferent - restores the entire troupe against him (O. Balzac, Eve's Daughter).

"Grushnitsky! - I said. – There is still time; give up your slander, and I will forgive you everything. You failed to fool me, and my pride is satisfied ”(M. Lermontov, Hero of Our Time).

Self-love accompanies all other types of love (Voltaire).

I will not let her boast that she was the first to leave me (J.-B. Moliere, Philistine in the nobility).

Wed honor.

girl in adolescence wants as many hearts to be broken because of her in order to satisfy her pride (H. Deutsch, Psychology of a Woman).

Women commit suicide when their narcissistic ego is damaged. In general, they can be offended precisely by this (ibid.).

Above all passions - pride (Isaac the Syrian). Wed narcissism.

Some qualities inherent in people initially have a lot in common, so it is not surprising that they are confused. For example, not everyone succeeds in distinguishing self-love from self-respect. In addition, it is possible to mistakenly endow traits with negative connotations without realizing their significance.

What is self-love?

Self-love is a feeling inherent in any person; full acceptance of one's own strengths and weaknesses. It is mistakenly equated with selfishness. In fact, it is it that helps to achieve success, to fence off the unnecessary, to avoid dangerous situations, not to suffer because of the progressive ones.

There are many myths around self-esteem that do not seek to debunk. Such an attitude towards oneself is often condemned, it is considered almost indecent. In society, they are more loyal to the notorious than to. Causes—or the belief that confident individuals are obsessed with own desires, ignoring others, and unable to have strong feelings for others. The latter is characteristic of people, but the roots of such behavior lie not in relation to oneself.

Wounded selfishness.

Both notorious teenagers and adult respectable men and women suffer from it. The syndrome is inherent in those who have problems with the ego. It is easy to offend such people by inadvertently dropping a sharp joke, criticizing their activities / appearance / choice, even looking “wrong”. Wounded pride is a strong reaction to external stimuli, which manifests itself almost instantly.

How to fight?

Stop getting angry in response to jokes; do not pay attention to phrases spoken specifically in order to hook pride. A person does not become ugly or untalented because someone voiced an insult out loud - his personality does not change in any way. Words, in fact, are not offensive: resentment is just a reaction to something.

It should be easier to relate to what others say. Someone's words do not affect the internal state. But anger, self-winding, resentment from scratch - they influence, and tangibly. Those who specifically say offensive things are trying to throw out the accumulated negativity, and almost any reaction of the respondent brings him a fair dose of negative. Ignoring or neutral attitude is a proven defense that saves nerves and composure.

What is self respect?

What is the difference between self-love and self-respect?

The concepts seem similar, but there is still a difference between them. The second is not able to exist without the first - without accepting itself externally and internally as a whole. But individual manifestations of self-esteem do not imply self-respect - for example, wounded. This is due to egoism, repressed complexes and other problems.

The difference is that respect by all means. At the same time, each person has pride, sometimes manifested in not the best forms. In general (not to be confused with) - a much more important quality, because it implies the complete acceptance of all negative and positive, work on oneself, ignoring the unnecessary.

The confusion between the terms is a completely understandable phenomenon, because they are considered adjacent. However, there are more differences between wounded self-esteem and self-respect than there are commonalities. The first quality should be eradicated, while the second, on the contrary, should be “nourished”. This implies not only the elimination of destructive traits, but also the development of the best ones. Helping others, respecting them and yourself is the key to a harmonious happy life.

“In order to love your neighbor as yourself, you first need to love yourself right. Self-love is a distortion of love in relation to oneself. Self-love is the desire for the indiscriminate fulfillment of the wishes of the fallen will, guided by a falsely named reason and an evil conscience. St. Ignatius

The Holy Fathers distinguish three main types of self-love: love of money, love of glory, voluptuousness, based on the words of St. app. John about the three temptations of the world: “For everything that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but of this world”(). The Fathers identified voluptuousness with the lust of the flesh, the love of money with the lust of the eyes, and the love of glory with worldly pride.

Should a Christian love himself?

Love is one of the essential Divine properties (see more details:). This means that God from eternity abides in Love for Himself. To put it differently, all the Divines abide in mutual, penetrating love, and at the same time, Each of Them nourishes love towards Himself.

Man is created in the image and likeness of God (see:). The ability to love is one of the features of this most heavenly image.

Therefore, there is nothing reprehensible in a person’s love for himself, however, if we are talking about love in the correct sense of the word, and not about a proud, selfish feeling, self-love.

A person’s love in relation to his own personality is not only allowed by God, but is also elevated by Him into a model of love for: “Love your neighbor as yourself” ().

But what does the phrase "love yourself" mean? To love oneself is to live the fullness of a god-like life, to love life itself as Divine, to have joy in the Lord, to strive to fulfill one's highest and destiny. If God loves a person, then does a person himself have the right to treat himself with dislike (acting contrary to the Almighty)?

There is much in common between love for oneself and love for one's neighbor (neighbours), in particular the following.

Just as love for one's neighbor implies a desire for his happiness, so love for oneself implies a movement towards happiness. After all, man was created for, and not short-term, as is the case in the conditions of present life, but for the eternal and unceasing.

The path to this blessedness lies through the communion of one's life with the life of the Universe, with the life of Christ. Whoever does not strive for eternal happiness in the Lord does not love himself.

Thus, to love oneself means (among other things) to do what contributes to communion with eternal blissful life. Contributes to this fulfillment, love for God and His creation.

Just as the love of one person for another is associated with a desire to save him and not lose him, so love for oneself implies the desire not to lose oneself for the eternal Kingdom of Heaven: “whoever loses his soul for the sake of Me and the Gospel will save it” ().

As love in general implies, so love for oneself requires taking up one's cross and following Christ ().

The commandment “love your neighbor as yourself” () indicates that, ideally, love for your neighbor should not be inferior to the love that a person has for himself.

This rejects the idea of ​​self-love as self-love, because self-love implies the opposite: a selfish, and often dismissive attitude towards people.

a moral feeling, in which a person expresses respect for himself as a person, based on the recognition of his dignity. Like pride, S. is an expression of a person's self-consciousness and in a certain way directs his actions, but, unlike her, is more personal, belongs entirely to the area of ​​\u200b\u200bindividual consciousness and is connected in the main. with an assessment of their own abilities and capabilities. In cases where S.'s feeling becomes stable hallmark the nature of this or that - a person, it acquires the value of a moral quality. S. is a positive motive for behavior (and, accordingly, a quality) insofar as it helps a person in overcoming difficulties and his own weaknesses in order to achieve the results that he expects from him, and because it encourages a person to legitimately defend his dignity. But although S. often plays a positive role in people's behavior, it still does not make a person a conscious bearer of the ideas of communist morality, since in this case he performs actions for his own sake, in order to gain respect from those around him. S. becomes negative quality when it turns from a demanding attitude towards oneself into unreasonable pride, into self-deception, which prevents a person from listening to comradely criticism, soberly assessing his actions and opportunities, and correcting his behavior. Such a sick S. plays the opposite role, paralyzing the activity of the individual, and ultimately humiliates human dignity.

Dictionary of Efremova

pride

cf.
Self-esteem, self-respect (usually combined with
increased attention to the opinion of others).

Orthodox Encyclopedic Dictionary

pride

one of the manifestations of the sin of pride: addiction to oneself, vanity and vanity in everything that concerns one's personality, the desire for primacy, honor, distinction, advantages over others.

Ozhegov's dictionary

SAMOL YU BIE, I, cf. Self-esteem, self-respect, self-assertion. Painful with. (exacerbated). Offended s. Spare who. With. (do not give rise to feelings of resentment, offended pride).

Encyclopedia of Brockhaus and Efron

pride

Consciousness of one's own merits and abilities and the ensuing desire to manifest them in various fields of activity and the requirement for their recognition by others. Since correct self-assessment is very difficult, S. is often false, that is, a person requires others to recognize for him such qualities and virtues that he does not possess. About S. in a deeper philosophical sense, see Egoism.

Dictionary Ushakov

pride

vanity, self-love, cf. A high assessment of one's strengths, combined with a jealous attitude towards the opinion of others about oneself; sensitivity to the opinions of others about themselves. A man of great pride. False selfishness. Painful selfishness. Spare someone's ego. “Perhaps, don’t say this to the author, out of regret for youth and the author’s pride, the most restless of all pride: talent is needed, but there is not a trace of it here.” Goncharov.

Pedagogical terminological dictionary

pride

a moral sense in which a person's respect for himself as a person is expressed. S. has a lot to do with pride. But S. is more personal in nature. expresses a person's subjective assessment of his own abilities and capabilities. S. can act as a positive motive for behavior when it helps a person overcome difficulties in order to achieve moral results and encourages a person to protect his dignity. In this case, S. becomes a stable moral quality of the individual. S. is a negative quality when it turns into narcissism, unreasonable pride. Inadequate perception of one's own "I" interferes with the creative activity of a person, establishing contacts with other people. In order to prevent the formation of negative features of S. with early years it is necessary to teach the child to give a critical moral assessment of his actions.

(Bim-Bad B.M. Pedagogical encyclopedic Dictionary. - M., 2002. S. 252)

Philosophical Dictionary (Comte-Sponville)

pride

pride

♦ Amour-Propre

Self love from the other person's point of view; the desire to be loved, to arouse approval or admiration; horror at the thought that another person might hate or despise you. La Rochefoucauld sees in self-love the main of our passions and the mainspring of all others. The more condescending and more just Rousseau insists on a distinction between self-love and self-love: “Love of oneself is a natural feeling that prompts every animal to take care of self-preservation, and in man this feeling is guided by reason and moderated by compassion, giving rise to humanity and virtue. Self-love is a derivative, artificial feeling that arises only in society, forcing each individual to attach more importance to himself than to everything else, prompting people to do each other all sorts of evil and is the true source of the concept of honor "("Discourse on the origin and foundations of inequality between people, note XV). The transition from one to the other is fairly easy to explain. Of course, we live for ourselves, but only in the environment of other people and thanks to them. Therefore, it is not surprising that we like it when other people treat us with love. Self-love is the desire for this love, directed at oneself, but carried out through other people. It is love for others in the name of oneself and love for oneself expressed by others. To assert that self-love is unhappy love, as Alain does, is to fall into a double error. In fact, injections of pride are nothing more than minor troubles against the backdrop of life's drama. Sometimes real grief can heal from them. Sometimes, perhaps, a great happiness.