7 steps to change yourself for the better
- Start the fight against bad habits! You won't get better if you have bad habits. The fact is that they will interfere every time: either you will be constantly scolded for them, or you yourself will be tormented by thoughts about your shortcomings. They will stop you from progressing in life. Everyone understands perfectly well that it is impossible to get rid of bad habits quickly, but for this you just need to start. Let it be a decrease in the dose of nicotine or alcohol, but you will start to somehow move in a positive direction. You can read more detailed instructions on how to get rid of bad habits in one of our next articles on the online magazine site, so subscribe to updates!
- Make a plan for the next five years! It is unrealistic to become better in one day, it is also difficult to become better in a year, but in five years it is more than possible, and you can change in such a way that you simply do not recognize yourself. Your plan should be 100% realistic (whatever happens) and also very detailed. You must know what you will be doing in any of the months of your life. Also make a system to help you keep track of how far you have deviated from your plan. It is quite simple to create such a system - write in front of each month of the future what results you should achieve. We remind you that goals should not be sky-high, especially if it concerns your weight, then you will not lose 20 kilograms in 1 month, no matter how much you would like to. And if it concerns money, then they should also be according to the plan as much as you can really get. It is better to overfulfill your plan than not reach the minimum mark.
- Do good deeds. Good man easy enough to distinguish - he always does good deeds! Doing good is not only useful, but also pleasant. After all, think how easy it is to help an elderly woman carry bags or fix a broken fence in the country. It is easy for a child to get a kitten from a tree, and for a young mother to lower the stroller from the floor to the street. Such actions require a minimum of time and effort from you, but at the same time you get an incredibly positive attitude, words of gratitude and not only your personal opinion of yourself, but also the opinion of others grows. You don't need to refuse help, especially if it costs nothing for you, you shouldn't turn a blind eye to injustice, you don't need to be indifferent - and then you can change yourself for the better!
- Be honest with yourself and those around you. Another feature that distinguishes a positive person from a bad one is the ability to always be honest. It is always easier to lie than to tell a person the truth in the face. There are so many brazen lies around us that sometimes it even becomes bad. And everyone lies - acquaintances, friends and even close people. No, lying for good is one thing, but lying for selfish purposes is a completely different situation. There are few honest people on earth, but they exist! Do you want to be one of the few?! Being honest is difficult not only with the people around you, but also with yourself. After all, remember how often we deceive ourselves ?! Example: got nasty in the store?! And we walk along the road and think that it's my own fault, crawled under a hot hand or at an unnecessary moment. Cut wages? It's just that the boss is a bastard, and that's it?! ... But in fact, everything is the other way around than in the previously described situations. The rudeness was not your fault, but the cut salary was due to your mistakes.
- Keep your word. Several centuries ago, honor was not just an empty phrase, people died for it and were afraid to miss it all their lives. One of the main points of honor was the ability to keep one's word. Do you want to change yourself?! Learn to keep all the promises you have made. Do not dare to say out loud what you cannot achieve, and if you have already mentioned it, then if you please, do what has been said, no matter what it costs you. Those who keep their word are respected and listened to in any society, as they always know that the words spoken by this person are not an empty phrase, but the truth that cannot be disputed. It is very difficult to keep the promised word, even not everyone can do it, but it is definitely worth learning!
- Build strong relationships with your significant other. You will not be able to become better without having love in your heart that could warm you at any moment of your life. Man is a creature that cannot live without love, he will always strive to find a person with whom he would like to spend the rest of his life. Therefore, if you are not in search of your love, you will never be able to achieve perfection. After all, it was not in vain that all high-ranking officials had second halves. After all, it is also an indicator that a person knows how to create a family, values it and tries in every possible way to teach others about it. It is unlikely that anyone will take an example from you if you are lonely and unhappy.
- Create your appearance the way you like it. It’s not enough just to change yourself inside, because we all evaluate ourselves not only by personal qualities, but also on the outside. Here you need to learn to stop being afraid of experiments - to try yourself in various "roles". This is especially important and necessary for women. It is not enough to change the style of clothing. After all, you must change your hairstyle, make-up, manner of movement, gait, etc. After all, only in this way you will believe in your changes. Come up with for yourself the image that would be interesting to you, which you would like to imitate and who to be like. Yes, we agree that there are no ideal women, and making an idol for yourself is not right! However, you can take from every famous woman for yourself only those criteria that you like exclusively!
Change takes a long time to take effect, many will take years to change themselves into the person they like. However, it is better to spend a few years on your positive changes than to live a life that you would not like at all!
The world is changing, and people are also prone to change. It is enough for someone to change the curtains in the living room, and someone decides to change their character, habits and behavior. People throughout their lives can change, but every time something will not suit them. The constant striving to be better entails .
What causes change?
Motivations for changing yourself and your life can be different. The most common and strongest is fear. We are afraid of losing family, work, friends, and this pushes us to reconsider our life position, values, habits.
If a person is satisfied with everything in life, or he simply resigned himself to the current situation, he will not change. But if there is hope to save something or make life better, you need to boldly go to the goal.
Why is it difficult for people to change?
A common reason for rejecting change in oneself is an unwillingness to acknowledge real reason their problems. People tend to blame their failures on anyone but themselves. Therefore, they will not be able to change until they learn to evaluate their actions, looking from the outside.
There are several main factors that prevent a girl from changing for the better:
- surrounding people and their attitude.
It is very difficult for many of us to cope with the trials that life sends us, to overcome ourselves or go against the opinions of loved ones. You need to believe in yourself and start changing. Only in this way will you prove to yourself and the world that you are capable of more.
How to change for the better?
It will take a lot of hard work on yourself before the desired result is achieved. First of all, you should understand what specifically does not suit you in yourself. All qualities that interfere with life must be eliminated first. But this, of course, is not instantaneous, but gradually. In parallel with this, their positive features needs to be developed.
Internal changes. The Purple Bracelet Method
There are many techniques that help a person change his life for the better. 
One of the effective ways that the priest Will Bowen suggested is to start and thus change for the better. He advised the participants in the experiment to take a simple purple bracelet and wear it for three weeks on 1 arm, excluding complaints, irritation and gossip from their lives. If a person during this period of time allowed himself to think and express himself negatively, then he changes the bracelet on the other hand and the countdown begins anew. This lasts until the bracelet stays on one arm for 21 days. An experiment conducted according to this method showed that its participants have changed significantly, they began to think positively. In addition, this method helps to develop self-control. You can safely use it, and you yourself will notice its effectiveness.
External changes
For every girl, her appearance is very important. If you have already started working on your inner world, you need in parallel. Internal changes for the better are always reflected in the external appearance. By stopping wasting your life energy on negative emotions, you will feel better, and therefore look accordingly. When a person does not experience stress, he loses cravings for bad habits, which means that the figure, complexion, condition of hair and nails improve.
A positive outlook on the world entails the emergence of self-confidence. Beautiful posture, confident gait, shining eyes. You will be liked by others and by yourself.
You can change the image, add more bright and light shades to your wardrobe. Changing your hairstyle is also sure to cheer you up. Visit a beauty salon, go to cultural events. You can find yourself a new hobby, make new acquaintances, look for sources of good mood in your daily routine.
To make the world around you better, you need to love it. But this is not possible unless you learn to love yourself. Make yourself the way you want to be, and everyone around you will admire you.
Focuses only on certain areas of life and neglects others.
For example, if he is interested in finding himself and self-realization, he may not think about physical development. If he is interested in his figure or personal life, he may not think about a career or finances, etc.
But, as practice shows, this approach is a mistake.
In order to achieve results in any of the areas of life, one must not forget both the entire personal strategy and those specific areas that seem unimportant to you, but actually play a significant role. This is the only way to solve a specific issue and change life in general.
If you don't know where to start, start by improving your appearance.
Here is what a famous plastic surgeon and psychiatrist says:
When you change a person's face, you almost always change their future as well. By changing his idea of his appearance, in almost all cases you change the person himself - his individual qualities, behavior - and sometimes even talents and abilities❞
This statement applies not only to the cardinal alteration of oneself through plastic surgery, but also to all positive changes in appearance. Having lost five kilograms or made a new hairstyle, you begin to perceive yourself differently, you feel more confident and attractive.
Analyze your habits
The next step is habits. Our habits are at the core of our character. Remember the famous aphorism of Aristotle, which is familiar to many from childhood:
❝If you sow a thought, you will reap an action; you sow an act, you reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; you sow a character, you reap a destiny.
Habits are patterns of our behavior that govern our lives. Are we really going to let them decide everything for us, following their lead?
Method: Carefully analyze each of your habits and its impact on your life. Eliminate those that interfere with yours, replace them with new, useful habits.
For those who really decided to work on themselves, I offer the Success Diary - a classic diary with applications for achieving success and working on yourself
4. Conditioned reflexes
No wonder the scientist Pavlov tormented dogs: conditioned reflexes are the basis of the foundations. With this key, you can form any habit you need.
Method: Repetitive actions with reinforcement develop new skills and habits. When a new skill is fixed, it will go into and you will do everything automatically, unloading your brain for new achievements.
Reward yourself for success or take something away if you backtrack on your plan to change yourself. Let your new quality be necessary and desirable for you.
5. Eradication
What cannot be converted into a plus, just eradicate.
How to identify your negative qualities and how to see yourself from the outside, read the article. You can also download a table of negative human properties.
6. Double life
The technique is suitable for developing new character traits and more significant changes in oneself.
Method: Imagine yourself the way you want to be. Rehearse the new role mentally over and over again. To be more convincing, buy things that will help you get into character and emphasize your new qualities. Wear them only for your second life.
Your environment is unlikely to immediately accept you new, so communicate with those who do not know you! Rehearse your new qualities on them. How much will they believe in your image? And if something does not work out, you can always change the place and environment, and try again.
7. Use your imagination
In the course of the experiment, it was proved that if a person spends a certain period of time daily in front of a target, imagining himself throwing darts at it, then his results will improve to the same extent as if he really threw darts at the target every day.
Mental images allow us to "practice" new relationships and character traits that would otherwise be unattainable. Our nervous system unable to distinguish reality from what our imagination vividly painted. When we imagine ourselves doing something in some particular way, it is almost the same as actually doing it. Mental practice helps to achieve perfection.
Method: Every day in the morning and before going to bed, mentally imagine yourself the way you aspire to be. How you speak, how you move, what you wear, how you react to situations. Do it over and over. This imaginary picture will have a strong influence on your behavior. And remember, how you see yourself from the inside largely determines how others see you and others.
8. Shock
If you want to change yourself but still don't find enough motivation to start, let failure be your motivation.
Method: Associate with people who will openly despise you. Use other people's ridicule to your advantage. Prove to them that you can be better, prettier, smarter. This method has never failed.
9. Alien
Often with our loved ones, we behave like a pig. Hamim, we neglect them and do not respect them at all. Whereas with strangers we are completely different, especially with superiors. If you want to change your behavior, try this method.
Method: Imagine in the place of the father or mother a complete stranger to you, whom you want to impress. Treat them like a boss on whom your salary depends. Try to look at them from a distance, as if seeing them for the first time.
10. Tune in
Method: change the environment and communicate with the people you want to be like. Adopt their habits, their way of thinking. In every success book, communication with successful people, how does it work?
In the course of communication with another person, we tune in to his wave - to the mentality of the interlocutor and his worldview. Without this, communication is impossible. As a result of this adjustment, we temporarily change our ideas, stereotypes of thinking and behavior, to someone else's. And the more often this happens, that is, the more often we communicate, the more we adopt until someone else's picture of the world becomes ours.
11. Cold shower of the "future"
When you really grow up and think about the future, you suddenly realize that it would be time to get rid of many habits and character traits. The thought of what will soon have to be built new life with family - sobering. I no longer want to overspend, be optional, drink all night with friends.
Method: Think about the future and the life you want to have, and figure out for yourself how you need to change and what habits to eradicate.
But I want to warn you don't take on too much. Weakly amenable to change innate temperament.
An introvert (a person deep in himself), of course, can change and become his opposite - an extrovert. But he will soon get tired of this “role” and will be unhappy, being in plain sight, secretly wanting to be alone with himself and his thoughts. There will be a feeling of emptiness. It arises from the loss of energy, because introverts draw it from within themselves, and only spend it in communication with others. It becomes clear that to lead such a long life is difficult and exhausting.
Be sure to record your wins and losses in a Success Diary, which is a must-have if you are aiming for serious results.
Or maybe you don't need to change?
Find your circle where you will be accepted as you are and there you will be happy. Everyone has their own value system and it is quite possible that your dream is to change and become more popular, successful, etc. will not bring the desired joy.
Or sublimate your energy into creativity. How can this incomprehensible Freudian term help us? The fact that we can redirect ourselves, life, others into creativity, using the protective mechanisms of our psyche.
Leonardo da Vinci, the great painter, scientist and engineer did just that. Whatever he took on, he brought it to perfection. However, it is reliably known that he had no interest in sex. Similar sublimation can be seen in many creative people. They simply cannot create when they are happy.
Sublimate (redirect) your energy and desires into creativity, to new hobbies. Are you a bespectacled man with a bad figure and therefore experience difficulties with the opposite sex? There are two ways out here - to change by working on yourself: exhausting workouts plus pickup courses. Or - find the passion of your life and create. We miss your talent so much!
As you change yourself, don't forget to change the space around you. Tidy up a cluttered apartment and change your wardrobe, how to do it easily and quickly - in Erin Doland's motivating book "Simplify Your Life" ().
Each of us should strive for self-improvement and work on ourselves all the time to become better. Some will ask why this is necessary, because it is so good? The answer is simple: no one is immune from falls and losses. At some point in life, any of us can be at the very bottom. What to do if we do not know how to improve ourselves, our personal traits, your attitude to life? Personal growth is very important for being. If a person realizes that he is not developing, this may well oppress him, because an aimless empty existence does not bring joy to anyone. If you are thinking about how you can change yourself, take note of our advice.
There is no limit to perfection
So what is the meaning of life? Is it about improving your character and striving for new heights every day? Or maybe in order to find the meaning of existence, to teach this to other people. Both answers are correct.
Having embarked on the thorny path of self-improvement, it is necessary to clearly understand that there is no limit to this process and cannot be. It is like the mathematical concept of "infinity", where all quantities tend to it, but cannot reach it in any way. Paradoxically, the more a person works on himself, the more he develops, the more he learns, the more often he is visited by thoughts about how little he still managed to do and how little he managed to learn.
Whenever we do something well, we are glad that we can do it even better. The feeling that there is no limit to human perfection gives strength for new achievements.
To change yourself, it is enough to analyze the actions of people who have managed to reach great heights in terms of self-improvement. Learn from successful people. Below we present some helpful tips that can help you develop. Some of these recommendations are very simple and will help change something in the near future. And some steps are responsible and long-term, and in order to rise one step higher, you need to make a conscious effort.
Reading books
The beginning of development and self-improvement is laid with reading literature. Read every day, because the book is a source of knowledge and a storehouse of wisdom. Remember that the more books you read in your life, the more wisdom you have absorbed. Some books can be especially useful, because in them you can find practical tips to achieve your desired goal.
Learn foreign languages
It doesn't matter which language you choose to learn. It can be Japanese, Mongolian or some of the Chinese dialects. While learning a new language, you come across a different culture and can understand more about the life of the people. Through such an acquaintance, you will be able to gain a new useful experience for yourself.
new hobby
Do not stand still and do not dwell on the habits and hobbies that you acquired in childhood. Choose for yourself some interesting course that will introduce you to new skills. A new hobby is a great incentive for self-improvement. You can also take up a new sport. This does not mean at all that morning runs will have to be sacrificed. Let 1 or 2 times a week from now on you begin to devote rock climbing. And having already mastered the climbing skills to perfection, you can switch to another no less interesting view sports such as ice skating.
New hobbies do not have to be chosen from the category of needlework. Take a closer look at completely unusual courses, master web design, take an Italian cooking course or become a regular at the dance hall, conquering everyone with incendiary steps in the Latino rhythm. But you never know versatile and exciting activities that help to reveal their talents and learn something new.
In the process of training, you will notice how you will be enriched emotionally, become smarter and stronger physically. Do not think that several courses at once will prevent you from focusing on learning new skills. Attend seminars and lectures occasionally. The more often you go out and learn something new, the more organized you will be.
Create the right interior for you
To change your life means to change your environment. Where will you draw inspiration to achieve your goals, if not in a beautiful, favorable atmosphere? If you like the interior where you spend the lion's share of your time - inspiration will be born daily. Understand one simple thing: oppressive walls and everyday life will not be able to give you strength, they will only pull you back. If you don't want to go into your room, being becomes survival.
As soon as you surround yourself with cute things and get rid of junk, repaint the walls in beautiful colors and replace a few pieces of furniture, everything will change. Forces for work will take themselves. But if you want to achieve stunning results on the path of self-discovery, make a good stylish design, the existence of which will become like a fairy tale. The more you admire the work done, the more you will respect yourself.
Fear and uncertainty are the main obstacles
Every person is capable of experiencing fear. And the dangerous situation is nothing compared to the fear of moving, new beginnings and uncertainty. Someone is afraid to appear in public, and someone is simply not sure of himself. Any fear prevents a person from developing. How to get around the fear that stands in the way of self-improvement?
Imagine that you will never achieve the desired result and will not be able to take a single step forward. Knowing that you will remain standing still will help you look the unknown in the eye. Fear for a person can be compared to a compass. Where the arrow points is where you need to go. If there is something in life that you fear, eliminate those feelings.
Don't stop improving your skills
If there is something in life that comes easy to you, constantly develop skills. Don't let your fingers forget how to beat the hardest level in a video game, keep writing articles if you've been blogging for a long time, perform more in front of the public if you've performed before. Think there is something you have always done well? If so, hone your skills.
Listen to the biological clock
Learn to get up early, because in the morning a person is most active. Before lunch, you will have time to redo as many things as you sometimes do not do in a whole day, waking up late. If you get up at 5 or 6 in the morning (along with the sun), then this will only benefit you. Know that as soon as you wake up in the early morning, your thinking will start all active processes.
Be sure to exercise your body. Weekly workouts can do wonders. Let you spend just 30 minutes jogging every third day of the month. In summer, you can alternate between jogging and cycling or swimming. The blood will circulate more powerfully, which will make it possible to saturate your brain. 
Do not be afraid of psychological experiments
Sit down and write a letter of your personality, such as you see in, say, 5 years. Compare the real you and that person who so far exists only on paper. Do you find any differences? Now do the same, only refer to yourself a year apart. How do you see yourself after this time?
Seal the letter and put the envelope in a safe place. Mark the date on the desktop calendar from which the countdown will begin. Now you have the hardest part. Every day you will work so that in a year you will really turn into the person described in the envelope.
Conclusion
If for some period of time you feel a constant state of comfort, then your self-improvement process has stalled. We grow only when we overcome difficulties. Remember your achievements and write them down in a separate notebook. Perhaps you will find much more than 42 ways to help change your life for the better.
There is no person who would not face a situation when at a certain stage of life the question arises: how to change for the better, how to change your behavior, habits, character?
You can change yourself for the better endlessly, because there will always be something that does not suit you. In the process of life, many of us form such an attitude towards being that can be described in two words - a feeling of helplessness.
It seems to us that life is full of hopelessness and hopelessness. It becomes especially scary that we are not able to change anything. There are many reasons for thinking this way - this is constant pain, endless disappointments, incessant resentment. But as a result, we see one thing - a categorical rejection of life, self-disgust and the inability to see our life in a positive way.
In such a situation, it is important to ask yourself the question: “What leads me to constant disappointment? How can I change myself for the better and change my attitude to the world?”
After all, it is the desire for the best and self-improvement that can change the character of a person, his worldview and attitude to life, then the world will treat him differently.
Internal and external changes in a person will certainly lead to a better life. The most accessible lofty goals and dreams. When we are ready to change - we are growing!
intrinsic motivation
What is one of the main reasons for the desire to change oneself and the habitual way of life for the better? Often it is fear. Among the strongest motivators are the fear of losing health, family, job, loved one, status, fear of not being able to do something in life.
To start change, you need to convince yourself and believe that there is always a way out of any situation, it is important to have a firm hope for a solution to the problem.
Only then, a girl in love, who wants to lose weight and not lose her loved one, begins to go to the pool and the gym. A person who has had a heart attack immediately quits smoking. Fear of poverty and failure makes you work hard.
However, a person will not change himself and his life if everything suits him and he is sure that he will live well. The one who simply does not see the possibility of solving emerging problems and difficult situations will not strive for change.
People do not fight serious illnesses because they do not believe and do not hope for recovery. To begin to change, you need to realize how important and dear to you everything that can be easily lost.
The beginning of change
There are no ways to change internally quickly and easily. They also did not come up with magical means for instantly eradicating bad habits or acquiring positive qualities of character.
The desire to change yourself is not enough - it is important to make some efforts to achieve success. Changes begin with a clear understanding of what exactly annoys or displeases you in yourself, what prevents you from living a peaceful life.
You need to find out for yourself what positive or negative qualities you have what they give you. Then consciously choose those qualities that you must definitely get rid of in order to change for the better.
No need to try to get rid of all the bad qualities and habits at the same time. This is an absolutely impossible task!
Must be gradually and patiently cultivated positive traits inherent in every person. This process is similar to how a gardener cares for and cares for flowers. Even roses that are free from weeds will not bloom or smell if they are not properly cared for.
positive thinking
Every day we hear endless complaints about people, life, injustice. At the same time, everyone knows about the usefulness and importance of positive thinking. It has long been known that people's thoughts depend on their statements and influence behavior, emotions and feelings.
The priest Will Bowen has been observing people's behavior for a long time. He advised those who wanted to radically change their lives to walk for three weeks with a bracelet on their arm and try to live without complaints, gossip and irritation.
If a person forgot and began to say negative phrases, he had to put the bracelet on the other hand, and the countdown began anew. The purpose of the experiment is to walk with a bracelet on one arm for a full three weeks.
The proposed method proved to be extremely effective. The participants of the observation have changed significantly - they have learned to notice positive qualities in themselves and the world around them, to live without complaints for a long time, they have ceased to speak negatively about things and people.
So the participants, who wanted to know how to change beyond recognition internally, learned to control their thoughts and phrases, which led to dramatic changes in their lives. In addition, the experiment allowed everyone to learn a lot of interesting things about themselves, their thinking.
External changes
How to change outwardly? A question of this kind will certainly arise when you want to change yourself for the better. The general image will certainly begin to undergo drastic changes as soon as there are changes in the internal worldview.
By learning to apply positive thinking, you will stop wasting strength and energy on useless resentments and destructive thoughts, you will also be able to forgive offenders and ill-wishers.
As soon as you recognize your uniqueness, immediately love yourself, learn to show love to other people. There will be no desire to avoid problems and hardships with the help of alcohol, smoking, overeating.
You will notice changes in appearance: straightened shoulders, confident gait, sparkling eyes. The world will begin to change rapidly, and you will make new acquaintances, hobbies, friends. You will want to change your appearance, your usual image, because you need to match the new internal state.
The opposite course of life changes is also possible. First, a person decides to change outwardly: get rid of extra pounds, make a new hairstyle, update the wardrobe. Then immediately there are changes in the inner content and thinking. A person feels confident because he is satisfied with his appearance.
If you decide and realize how to change drastically (internally or externally), then do not delay it, do not delay the beginning a better life to "tomorrow", to "then" or "later". Get active right away, no matter the time of day or day of the week. Appreciate every second, because life passes quickly and irrevocably!
Changes in character
If you want to understand how to change for the better in character, you need to do the following steps. Take a blank sheet of paper and a pen, make a list of two columns.
In the first column, write those character traits that, in your opinion, have a negative effect on behavior, in the second column, indicate the traits that you would like to acquire. Your family and friends can help in compiling such a list. This will give you the opportunity to look at yourself from the outside, because often we do not notice or do not want to admit our own shortcomings.
Next, next to the indicated character flaws, write the proposed ways of turning them into virtues. For example, pessimism can be overcome with positive thinking and a positive attitude, laziness - with an active lifestyle and hobbies, anger - with a manifestation of goodwill, etc.
Think responsibly about how your life will change after the change of character. This will motivate you. But remember that it is not enough just to know how to change in character. It is important to make efforts and work, to show willpower, and this is not an easy task!
Sometimes change allows you to change a person's character. appearance. This is especially true for women. For example, by changing her hairstyle or hair color, a woman notices that her attitude to the world around her begins to gradually change.
There is also an inverse relationship. When a rethinking of values occurs in the mind, there may be a desire to change outwardly in order to correspond to your new “I”.
Video "How to be happy"
Change in character is a very difficult task. In an effort to improve yourself and your character, control your behavior and get rid of unnecessary thoughts and actions in time!